Country music star Sara Evans shares update on marriage. ‘People are going to judge’

Beloved Country music singer Sara Evans knows some of her fans and beyond are going to be upset with her. And while she understands their anger, she is also asking them for grace.

In an interview with People, Sara revealed that despite the toughest stretch of their marriage, a stretch which resulted in her husband Jay Barker being charged with felony aggravated assault with a deadly weapon in 2022, the longtime husband and wife are trying to make it work after she filed for divorce in 2021.

Her newest single, “Pride,” dives into the last couple of years of her life and the resilience and strength women posses. The song details a woman who has a partner that tries “to make her feel small.”

Sara dove deep into their story during the first episode of her new podcast. She talked about the therapy they endured, the work Jay has put in over the years, and where they are now, “happily married.”

But despite her candor, Sara understands “people are going to judge me. ‘Why do you feel sorry for him?’ But I know what he’s feeling,” she explained. “He’s feeling shame. But he’s also being brave and being like, ‘Yeah, that’s the truth. I did that.’”

However, while she understands she is going to be judged. It’s going to be her biggest fear.

“My biggest fear is that people are going to judge me or be angry with me for staying with Jay and not understand the whole story and the whole picture. I just want, more than anything, for them to understand that each marriage is different, each story is different.”

As Sara explained that despite “90 percent” of her marriage being happy, she released in 2017, after reading books about toxic relationships, she realized she was in one herself.

“That’s when I started to realize, ‘I am in a toxic relationship, and I don’t deserve this,’” she says. “I shouldn’t be scared to say what I want to say or do what I want to do.”

Three years later, Evans said she “just gave up” trying. “I just threw my hands up and said, ‘I quit. I’m tired of this, and there’s no reason we should be living this way, because we have everything. We’re so blessed.’”

“But at the same time, I was heartbroken because I felt like my hand was forced into doing that. I didn’t want to do that because I love Jay. We’ve been married for 16 years now, and 90 percent of that marriage has been very happy.”

During their years of separation, Evans and Barker stayed in touch. But still their relationship was rocky.

Then came that night in 2022 that led to Barker’s arrest. Witnesses told police that Barker attempted to hit the car Evans was in.

It led to his arrest and ultimately, Barker entering a “best interest plea” to misdemeanor reckless endangerment and being put on probation.

However, Evans disputes witnesses claims, saying she doesn’t believe Barker was trying to hit the car she was in. She continued admitting that her daughter was the passenger in the car and was the one to call the police.

“To this day, I think that he was backing up to see if I was in the car with somebody. To my child, it looked like something different altogether. My child had never seen him in that light, and I think that was very shocking.”

It was three months after the incident that Evans would receive a text from Barker that eventually led to their reconciliation, under the promise that they would both remain in therapy for the rest of their lives.

According to Evans, Barker has only just moved back into their home about four months ago, after he was able to earn back the trust of the children.

Sara’s daughter, Audrey, has also seen the changes in Barker that Evans sees.

“In past times, you could see something that would trigger him or make him mad, and all of a sudden he was quiet, and you could see little looks around the room. Now, he’s completely switched his overall energy. When somebody’s teasing him, instead of getting mad about it, it’s more of a laugh or like a, ‘You’re right.’ I’ve seen tiny steps like that throughout the past year of seeing a totally different man as a fatherly figure.”

And although their lives haven’t been perfect, Evans says she’s now ready to share her story in her own words and that’s what she plans to do with her podcast.

“This is my marriage. It’s my situation. I’m married to a wonderful man who did imperfect things. I’m a great person who is also imperfect. That was our choice to get better and heal. No one should make their decisions based on me,” she says.

And in the end, Evans hope people will give them both the “benefit of the doubt and just take me at my word that this is the right decision for me.”