Chinese internet users have the most incredible nicknames for NBA players
A trade war may be brewing, but when it comes to internet nicknames for NBA players, China has already won the battle against the U.S. in a bloodbath, and the sport of basketball is better for it.
Rutgers University assistant professor Nick Kapur, a historian of East Asia with a Ph.D. from Harvard, shared on Twitter a list of nicknames for high-profile NBA players that Chinese netizens have altered from the traditional translations of English monikers, and the lot of them are, quite simply, amazing.
LeBron James
Lebron James – 小皇帝 "The Little Emperor"
A play on the English "King James" that is also a slang term for a "spoiled only child" under China's "One Child Policy"
Used more when Lebron was young but now mostly by Lebron haters. His fans prefer 詹皇 (Zhan Wang or "King James").
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: King James
Chinese nickname: The Little Emperor
I’m not wild about this nickname, but it is refreshing to know there are LeBon haters everywhere.
Russell Westbrook
Russell Westbrook – 威少 "Wei Dude"
Russ's phonetic name in Chinese (衛斯特布魯克 wei si te bu lu ke) is really long so they shortened it to "Wei Dude."
They also upgraded the "wei" from "guarding" (衛) to "dominating" (威).
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Russ or The Brodie
Chinese nickname: Wei Dude
Wei Dude is good, but Dominating Dude is just a massive upgrade in nicknames for Westbrook.
Stephen Curry
English nickname: Chef Curry
Chinese nickname: F***s the Sky
End the debate. This is the greatest nickname in sports history. And it’s not even close. Baby-Faced Assassin was actually a decent nickname for Curry when he was younger, but ever since he won back-to-back MVP awards and torched just about every 3-point record in NBA history the past six seasons, he’s needed a new one, and Chef Curry just wasn’t cutting it. This? This is incredible, and I dare Mike Breen to scream it on a broadcast instead of his traditional “Bang” if Curry hits a playoff game-winner.
Giannis Antetokounmpo
Giannis Antetokounmpo – 字母哥 "Letters Bro"
Because his last name has…so…many…letters!
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Greek Freak
Chinese nickname: Letters Bro
Greek Freak is good, but Letters Bro is a fantastic nickname for someone with 13 letters in his last name who has given everyone from Chicago Bulls announcer Stacey King to former President Barack Obama fits trying to pronounce it. But you already knew that. And Giannis already knew it, too. When a Chinese reporter alerted him of this nickname in November, Antetokounmpo said, “It’s cool.” Yes, it is.
Kobe Bryant
English nickname: Mamba
Chinese nickname: Snail Shell
Kobe Bryant – 蜗壳 "Snail Shell"
Kobe is "Snail Shell" because it rhymes with "My [guy] Kobe."
When he was young they called him 小飞侠 or “Peter Pan” (literally "Little Flying Warrior") and at the end he became 唠嗑 (“Chatterbox, Gossip"), which rhymes with "Old Kobe."
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
This one needs some work.
Manu Ginobili
Manu Ginobili – 妖刀 "The Demon Blade"
Perhaps the coolest nickname of them all, Ginobili earned this moniker for his ability to slash to the hoop using tricky footwork like the Eurostep.
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: The Magician
Chinese nickname: The Demon Blade
Ginobili has had some pretty incredible nicknames over the years, from El Contusione to BatManu to Obi-Wan Ginobili, but The Demon Blade tops them all. If the one for Curry wasn’t so good, this would be the greatest. I call for the Eurostep to be renamed The Demon Blade in his honor when he retires.
Shaquille O’Neal
Shaquille O'Neal – 大鲨鱼 "The Giant Shark"
Derives from the fact that the first sound in the Chinese word for "shark" (shayu) sounds like the first sound in "Shaquille."
Toward the end of his career, he was frequently called "O'Fat" (奥胖) – a play on "O'Neal."
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Shaq, Diesel, The Big Aristotle, et al.
Chinese nickname: The Giant Shark
The Giant Shark? Not great. O’Fat? Perfect.
Klay Thompson
Klay Thompson – 佛祖 "The Buddha"
Because his very short curly hair reminds Chinese people of the Buddha's hairstyle in traditional Chinese art.
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Big Smokey
Chinese nickname: The Buddha
We know China’s affinity for Thompson, and Thompson’s affinity for China, so Buddha seems right.
Carmelo Anthony
Carmelo Anthony – 甜瓜 "Melon"
Because his English nickname "Melo" sounds like the English word "melon" which they then translated into Chinese (pronounced tian gua).
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Melo
Chinese nickname: Melon
Melon is just a good nickname, especially for a guy who put up a couple in the playoffs. #StayMe7on
Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant – 书包杜 "Schoolbag Du"
Because he used to often wear a backpack to press conferences ("Du" is short for "Durant")
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: KD, Durantula, Slim Reaper
Chinese nickname: Schoolbag Du
Durantula and Slim Reaper are pretty great, but Durant was sued over the former and doesn’t like the latter, so Schoolbag Du is the next-best option and a nice reminder that he used to wear a backpack.
Charles Barkley
Charles Barkley – 飞猪 "The Flying Pig"
Self-explanatory.
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: The Round Mound of Rebound
Chinese nickname: The Flying Pig
The Round Mound of Rebound is pretty perfect, but kudos to Kapur for coming in hot with the “self-explanatory” line there. I have a feeling we’re going to hear about this on “Inside the NBA” for an hour.
Michael Jordan
Michael Jordon – 帮主 "Gang Boss"
Jordan's ordinary name in Chinese is 乔丹 (qiao dan), but Qiao is also the surname of Qiao Feng, the leader of the "Beggars' Sect" in popular wuxia martial arts novels, often known simply as "Gang Boss Qiao" (乔帮主).
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: MJ, Air Jordan, His Airness
Chinese nickname: Gang Boss
Instead of the G.O.A.T. debate, everyone should be playing for the title of Gang Boss. Jordan is the Gang Boss for now, but what if LeBron James wins a title with these Cleveland Cavaliers?
Dirk Nowitzki
Vehicle nicknames!
Dirk Nowitzki is 德国战车, "The German Panzer Tank"
Tony Parker is 法国小跑车, "The Little French Sports Car"
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: The Dunking Deutschman
Chinese nickname: The German Panzer Tank
Yeah, I’m definitely not on board with any Nazi-related nicknames. None of Nowitzki’s many nicknames have really stuck, but The 7-Foot Schnitzel and The Big Mummy are pretty great.
I'm so stiff these days that my ex teammate Darrell Armstrong calls me my favorite nickname of all time: "The big mummy"
— Dirk Nowitzki (@swish41) September 12, 2017
Tony Parker
English nickname: TP
Chinese nickname: The Little French Sports Car
TP was never a great nickname, if only because of the toilet paper imagery it creates. The Little French Sports Car is a pretty great representation of how Parker played in his prime, so let’s stick with that.
Julius Erving
However, "Dr. J" did get turned into J博士 ("J, Ph.D."), and Steve Francis's nickname "The Franchise" was badly translated into 特权 ("Special Rights").
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Dr. J
Chinese nickname: J, Ph.D.
If you know Erving, you can call him Dr. J, but this is how you should formally address him now.
Scottie Pippen
Scottie Pippen – 天下第二人 "Second Best Under Heaven"
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Pip
Chinese nickname: Second Best Under Heaven
Gang Boss and Second Best Under Heaven has a nice ring to it.
Dwyane Wade
Dwyane Wade – 典韋 "Dian Wei"
Dian Wei was a mighty warrior from the ancient Three Kingdoms Period who was a loyal sidekick of the general Cao Cao. He famously died covering for Cao Cao's retreat when they were ambushed by a rebel army. His name also sounds like "Dwyane Wade."
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: D-Wade, Flash
Chinese nickname: Dian Wei
That backstory, though. “He famously died covering for Cao Cao’s retreat when they were ambushed by a rebel army” sounds a lot like Wade’s departure from Miami after LeBron returned to Cleveland following the 2014 NBA Finals, when the San Antonio Spurs handed them a lopsided five-game loss.
Stephon Marbury
Stephon Marbury – 马政委 "Marburyist Political Commissar"
This is a pun on "Marxist Political Commissar," since in Chinese both "Marbury" and "Marx" are spelled with the same first character "ma" ("horse").
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Starbury
Chinese nickname: Marburyist Political Commissar
Marbury is an even bigger legend in China than he is in the U.S., so they own his naming rights.
Kevin Garnett
Kevin Garnett – 狼王 "King of the Wolves"
Leftover from his time with the Minnesota Timberwolves
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: KG, The Big Ticket
Chinese nickname: King of the Wolves
Garnett does love to howl, but this could use an upgrade after his stay with the Boston Celtics.
Steve Nash
Steve Nash – 风之子 "Son of the Wind"
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Kid Canada
Chinese nickname: Son of the Wind
Should be Sun of the Wind, but still very good.
Tim Duncan
Tim Duncan – 石佛 "The Stone Buddha"
Due to his perceived unemotional nature
— Nick Kapur (@nick_kapur) May 7, 2018
English nickname: Timmy, The Big Fundamental
Chinese nickname: The Stone Buddha
The Big Fundamental is tough to top, but The Stone Buddha has a nice ring to it.
There are so many more in Kapur’s incredible thread. Thank you, Chinese netizens.
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Ben Rohrbach is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at rohrbach_ben@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @brohrbach
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