How 'bout a loser leaves town race?
If you think the upcoming primary election in Owensboro has been quiet, you should see Blue Ruin.
The town has gotten along just fine without a mayor since back in the late ‘40s when F. Art Jones won his fourth term and skipped town.
Seems the guy that printed the ballot that year made a typographical goof and dropped the period after the initial.
That might not have been so bad if he’d left more spacing in there.
But Windy Jones took one look at that ballot and knew his career was over.
The place prospered for 40-plus years without a mayor.
But in 1993, Albino Alice, the barber, got fed up with Possum’s jokes and put downs about women.
So, she went down to the courthouse and filed for mayor to show him what women can do.
Nobody else did and she was elected.
But Alice resigned after two months.
She got tired of all the calls about potholes, trash, dogs messing in folks’ yards and things like that.
So, the town hasn’t had a mayor for more than 30 years.
And things seem to be working just fine.
Possum was sipping his coffee at Axe’s True Blue American Café & Barber Shoppe the other day.
“Boy, this is one slow ‘lection,” he said. “Ain’t nearly as excitin’ as Indiana where all the candidates was tryin’ to see who loved President Trump most.”
“Yeah,” Alice said. “That was one scary race if you ask me.”
“I didn’t,” Possum said. “Wish we’d had a mayor’s race here.”
“Wait til the next go around,” Alice said. “We’ll both run and see who folks likes the best.”
“I can’t wait,” Axe said. “How ‘bout a loser leaves town race?”
“You ain’t got enough customers,” Possum said. “You can’t afford to lose either one of us.”
“I’m gonna vote, I guess,” Bubba said. “But there sure ain’t much to vote fer if you don’t live in Owensboro.”
“I’m gonna cast my vote fer President Trump even if he don’t need it,” Possum said. “I don’t like the way they persecutin’ him.”
“Prosecutin’,” Alice said. “Not persecutin’. I’ll dance in the street when they lock him up.”
“They ain’t gonna lock him up,” Possum said. “And if they do, he’ll just pardon hisself.”
“That loser leaves town idea is lookin’ better all the time,” Axe sighed.
