Boston Pride Hockey hopes to find more gay RI skaters to expand league

Late in the hockey game with his team up by only a goal, Rob Fruggiero set up for a faceoff against an angry, “chirping” opponent.

Trash-talk in men’s hockey leagues is as common as locker-room beers. But as the two men prepared for the referee to drop the puck, the usual profanity devolved into something more offensive.

“You’re a ….. ” his rival said, aiming a homophobic slur at one of Fruggiero’s nearby teammates. But it was Fruggiero who responded.

“Watch your mouth,” he said, calmly.

“What,” the man replied, repeating the slur toward Fruggiero: “are you a …?”

“Yes, I am,” Fruggiero replied. “Now watch your mouth.”

At that moment this past summer, no one in the Warwick ice rink knew Fruggiero, 34, was gay. He had played hockey much of his life that way. Certainly, he had never confronted bigotry in such an open, personal way.

But for a while now Fruggiero, of Providence, who came out about six years ago, has also been playing in the Boston Pride Hockey League, a group formed 30 years ago to give players in the LGBTQ community a place to be themselves and share a game they love.

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The support Fruggiero found in the pride league — now hoping to expand into Rhode Island — gave him, he says, the resolve to speak out that night in Warwick.

“I remember leaving the rink. I got in the car and started thinking that just being able to speak up for myself was like a breath of fresh air. At least now I know I have the tools, and that started with the support I’ve gotten with Boston Pride.”

On Friday night, the Boston Pride Hockey League had scheduled a special event at the Providence Bruins game at the Dunkin' Donuts Center. Organizers want to draw other Rhode Islanders like Fruggiero into the game. (Late Thursday the event was rescheduled for April because of COVID concerns.)

The league wants to find enough local skaters — of all ages, genders and skill levels — to form a few Rhode Island teams to compete with the four teams it has now.

The Pride Night event in April will offer discounted game tickets for friends, family and interested skaters through its website: bostonpridehockey.org.

Following the Providence Bruins game, everyone will be invited to watch a friendly scrimmage between the league's Boston players and the Rhode Islanders already on the league roster.

Jim O’Connor, 63, of Little Compton, is one of the event organizers. He’s been playing in the Boston Pride Hockey League for more than 20 years.

“We’re just trying to grow hockey in the LGBT community,” he says. “There are a lot of former players out there who played in high school and even at the college level who don’t have a welcoming, safe place to play.”

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Joining Boston Pride “was a huge thing for me when I came out” more than 20 years ago, says O’Connor.

He was married with three children at the time, with limited outside support. Boston Pride hockey “really helped me develop a whole network and community of like-minded people.

“The friendships that I have for being involved in this are life-long,” says O’Connor. “It is a good, healthy outlet for people who are into sports.”

Greg Sargent is 43 and the president of the Boston Pride Hockey League. He played hockey from the time he was 5 until his early 20s when work, life and graduate school took over much of his free time.

But after a relationship breakup, he Googled Boston gay hockey and one night found himself sitting outside an ice rink where the Pride would be scrimmaging.

He was so scared he considered just driving away.

“I was so nervous sitting in the parking lot. I had been trying to hide myself in those straight locker rooms my whole life.”

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He didn’t know what awaited him inside.

But his love for hockey overcame his fear — a fear that “all disappeared the very second I went into this locker room.”

“Everyone was warm and welcoming. People were talking about all sorts of LGBT things, things you don’t talk about in a straight locker room.”

“When you walk into a gay locker room it’s amazing. All the prejudices we faced are gone. They don’t exist. It's a hodgepodge of genders, sexualities. People share with you. It is such a powerful thing.”

That summer night in Warwick, Rob Fruggiero left his opponent with the foul mouth looking shocked after his gay acknowledgment

The referee dropped the puck. The game resumed. And Fruggiero’s team held on to win, 3-2.

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After the game, Fruggiero entered the locker room not knowing how many of his teammates had heard the exchange in the faceoff circle.

One who had was the team captain. He came over to Fruggiero.

“Dude, we have your back,” the captain told him.

“You don’t have to worry for a second.”

The support meant everything.

Email Tom Mooney at: tmooney@providencejournal.com

This article originally appeared on The Providence Journal: Boston gay hockey league hosting Providence recruiting event Friday