How to Work With a Boss You Hate
Love your job but can't stand your boss? You've got plenty of company, according to Gallup research that shows half of workers in the U.S. have quit a job at some point because they didn't like their supervisor.
While some bosses are simply toxic or office bullies, there may be situations where strategizing about your working relationship can help ease tensions and make your daily experience in the office a little more bearable. Here are some methods to work better with bosses even when they drive you crazy.
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Try a new perspective. When you feel like you have the boss from hell, it's easy to focus on everything that's wrong and lose sight of the bigger picture. Is your manager really always awful, or is it just under certain circumstances, like when the department is on deadline or when the boss's boss is in the office? Think about whether there's a way to view the situation differently, and maybe even from your supervisor's point of view, to be sure that you're seeing it accurately. You can also try to shift gears mentally to a more detached perspective, to protect yourself better emotionally from others' actions. It's true that you can't control how your boss behaves, but you can control how you think about it, which influences how you feel.
Get to know your boss better. Sometimes the people who drive us nuts are the ones we don't know that well. It's easy to assume the worst and take actions that appear insensitive at face value. But it's also possible that if you had more insight into your boss's reality, you might have more sympathy and compassion for the pressures and challenges that he or she is under. Try to talk to your boss as a person, not just a position, and see if you can't find some common experiences and reference points to bridge the gap.
[See: 10 Reasons to Quit Your Job Already.]
Clear the air. While you may worry that your boss's bad behavior is unchangeable, you won't know whether you can influence it until you try. Before throwing up your hands in despair or seeking another job, schedule a time to talk to your boss about your concerns. Perhaps the unreasonable demands, insensitive management approach or brusque communication style are unintentional. A little damage control can sometimes go a long way toward solving the problems. But for this conversation to be effective, it's important to avoid a confrontational, accusatory tone when airing your grievances. Stay professional at all times, and you may get an apology -- particularly if your boss was unaware of how he or she was coming across. Be prepared, though, for your boss to offer some feedback about you in return. The risk of honest communication is that you may end up hearing something about yourself that you don't want to hear.
Be accountable. No one wants to feel like they're partly to blame when they're feeling irritated by someone else's actions. In some cases (as in bullying and other cases of abuse), your boss really is fully at fault. But in other instances, there may be a way that you're contributing to negativity in the relationship. Think about whether your boss is pushing buttons that are particular to you, or whether the behavior that's bothering you is truly reprehensible. If the latter, get human resources involved, but if the former, a look in the mirror might help you make adjustments to your approach of dealing with your boss so that you can be happier and more effective.
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Find support. When you hate your boss, it can turn going to work into a dreaded event. But your boss isn't the only person who can influence your experience in the office. Lean on supportive colleagues, as well as friends and family outside the office, to help manage your emotions about your boss. Knowing others understand can be a big relief and can help get you through your days more smoothly. Be careful, though, that your communication with co-workers doesn't turn into gossip or griping about your boss. It's better to keep personal attacks and complaints to yourself, while focusing on what you can do to improve the situation.
Keep records. If you're uncertain whether your boss's antics cross the line between annoying and abusive, be sure to keep careful notes on what you're witnessing and other challenges you're experiencing while working with your supervisor. Be on the lookout for behavior that's inappropriate and unprofessional, such as constant put-downs rather than constructive criticism, trying to find fault, excluding you from the group or team and emotional or physical harassment. After creating a clear paper trail through your documentation, seek support through human resources.
