‘Top Ten Rick Perry Excuses’

Chris Moody

The night after a tough debate performance in Michigan, Texas Gov. Rick Perry appeared on "The Late Show" with David Letterman to laugh off some of the pain.

Read by the man himself, here are the "Top Ten Rick Perry Excuses:"

10. "Actually there were three reasons I messed up last night. One was the nerves, two was the headache and three was, and three, uh...uh...Oops."

9. "I don't know what you're talking about. I think things went well."

8. "Hey, I was up late last night watching `Dancing With the Stars.'"

7. "I thought the debate was tonight."

6. "Hey, listen. You try concentrating with Mitt Romney smiling at you. That is one handsome dude."

5. "Uh, El Niño?"

4. "I had a five-hour energy drink six hours before the debate."

3. "I really hoped to get on my favorite talk show, but instead I ended up here."

2. "Hey, I wanted to help take the heat off my buddy Herman Cain."

1. "I just learned Justin Bieber is my father."

Perry entered and left while the band played Meatloaf's "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad."

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