Democrats taunt GOP House members before party retreat

Chris Moody
Political Reporter
The Ticket

House Republicans plan to huddle at a golf resort in Williamsburg, Va., later this week for a private conference to talk strategy for 2013, but before they depart, Democrats will send them on their way with a "suggested agenda"—one that mocks the new class.

“We have a few suggestions for House Republicans that might make their next month a little bit easier," said Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee spokesman Jesse Ferguson, his tongue firmly in cheek.

The DCCC, the official party organization tasked with electing Democrats to the House, will blast out this taunting list later today:

Suggested House Republican Retreat Agenda Items

  • Have breakfast paid for by lobbyists
  • How to stop talking about “legitimate rape” and insulting women
  • Science 101
  • Creating tax breaks and tax shelters for millionaire campaign donors
  • Math course on counting to 218 votes
  • A primer on the stock market crash of 1929 and how you could be responsible for the next one.
  • Coup d’etat prevention and planning
  • Trust falls
  • Big-picture thinking
  • Practice interacting with women and minority voters
  • How to increase our approval ratings: What root canals, traffic jams, cockroaches and head lice are doing right
  • Remedial hurricane recovery
  • Your inner Tea Party and you
  • Have dinner paid for by lobbyists

Update -- Republicans respond: This is pretty creative for Democrats given that the only item on their agenda is more debt and spending," said Daniel Scarpinato, spokesman for the Nation Republican Congressional Committee.