We have a terrible addiction to strange stories out of Florida here at Odd News. Rather than seek treatment for it, we’ve decided to embrace it by sharing yet another piece from the Sunshine State. WSVN 7 News is reporting on one Johnny Love, a crook so clumsy that he got arrested rather quickly.
On Thanksgiving morning, Mr. Love went into a Shell gas station in Miami Gardens, Florida. He proceeded to pull out a gun, and demand cash from the store’s clerk, David Paul-Lamour. It was at this point that Love started to lose control of the situation. Paul-Lamour, instead of flipping out, calmly started to buddy-up with his would-be robber. The Shell employee told WSVN, “I gave him the money, and he started taking the money, and I said, 'Oh, let me bag it for you,' so I started bagging it, and I said, 'You know what? You should double bag it.’” Why was Mr. Paul-Lamour doing this? He was, “…stalling, waiting for them [police] to come."
But Paul-Lamour, who was uninjured, didn’t stop there. To continue stalling Love, he recommended to the thief that he steal some beer as well. When Love turned to get some, David hit a silent alarm button. In the meantime, Love started to get a little…careless. While trying to arrange his purloined items, he dropped his gun.
And then when he ran outside, he dropped his beer. Now, it appears that nobody has told Mr. Love that, as Homer Simpson’s brain would say, “money can be exchanged for goods and services.” Instead of running away with the money, he tried recoup the fallen brews.
When police did get to the scene of the crime, Mr. Love took them in for a second and then tried to run away. And well…
…he got arrested. Johnny Love was charged with armed robbery. Make sure to check out WSVN’s story on the matter so you can see just how clumsy this guy was. As for the most important part of the story, the beer he tried to get away with? Bud Light Lime.
More info: WSVN