Hey — have you ever wondered what your back would look like if, instead of simple flesh unadorned save for birthmarks and possibly hair, it was entirely covered with tributes to Michael Jordan? Of course you have. We all have. It's all most of us think about.
Well, now we no longer have to rely on our paltry, malnourished imaginations to envision it. Thanks to Kicks on Fire, we have the facts, and we're voting
I'll be honest: I didn't think I would ever see a more significant back-tattoo commitment to loving Jordan than this M.J./Dennis Rodman two-thirds-of-the-back two-fer. I should have known better, of course — every time I think we've reached the peak of the NBA-related tattoo game, someone finds a way to step it up.
Someone gets LeBron James' face tattooed on his leg, and someone else gets Kobe Bryant's face tattooed on his leg even bigger. One Dallas Mavericks fan gets Dirk Nowitzki's one-legged fadeaway tattooed on his leg; another gets the German's face tattooed on his butt. You think a Utah Jazz fan's Jerry Sloan/tractor tat is the oddest commemoration you'll come across, and then you're sure it's Charles Barkley kissing Dick Bavetta, but then, when you least expect it, BAM: Charlie Villanueva All Over Someone's Arm. And when it comes to New York Knicks-related body art, just as John Starks' "The Dunk" was destined to be superseded by Nate Robinson's dunk, Nate had to be toppled by Chris Smith getting his brother J.R. Smith's face tattooed on his back. The oneupsmanship never ends; the journey is eternal.
And so, as hard as it is might be to fathom, I firmly believe that someone will one day — and probably sooner rather than later — top a full-back tattoo featuring Michael Jordan's name, signature, nickname, logo, at least two of his faces, the Chicago Bulls logo, and a mid-back sea of red. I believe it because it must be true; we, as humans, are meant for nothing if not to strive amid great pain, even if it's pain we inflict upon ourselves.
Topping this is probably going to take a hell of a lot of pain, though. And maybe, just maybe, some Beirut.
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