If you're looking for the manliest car out there that will help you grow that beard you've been wanting, not to mention possibly associate with a unicorn, you should give Joe Strachila a call.
Strachila and his childhood friend, Kyle Miller, are behind a creative Seattle Craigslist ad for a teal 1995 Pontiac Grand AM GT that Strachila is selling for $700. The ad has been deemed the " Greatest Craigslist Car Ad Ever" by the car blog Jalopnik.
"Never in your life has a car made you so appealing to the opposite sex," the ad read.
The ad promised that driving the '95 Pontiac will be "better than your last four romantic encounters … combined."
But this car is a lot to handle and even Sanders couldn't keep up.
"I know what you're asking, 'Am I man enough to handle a car this flawless?' The short answer is no," the ad said.
But that doesn't mean you can't try like Sanders did.
"I grew my beard to unreasonable lengths, trimmed my fingers with belt sander, ate nothing but lumber for six straight days and knocked a polar bear unconscious," the ad read. "The car chuckled at my failed attempt at manliness."
In case you were wondering, the car is equipped with tires, doors, a steering wheel, seats and even a radio, the ad said. The buyer might need to fix a head gasket that blew when the Pontiac "became so bloated with testosterone."
But even with the "greatest Craigslist car ad ever," which has the price reduced from $199,999 to $700 ("What?!" the ad exclaimed in red next to the price reduction) the car hasn't sold yet, Strachila told Jalopnik.
"I'm actually sifting through tons of voicemails, texts, and emails from people who are fans of the ad and trying to find the ones from people who actually want to buy the car," he said.
The ad has since been changed on Craigslist to a simple ad describing the car with a few basic photos.
Strachila, a 23-year-old aerospace engineer, said in an interview with Jalopnik that he felt like it was his duty to pass the car to someone else.
"It's quite powerful, and I've had it for about seven years now, so I think it's time to spread this manliness to someone else, have them beat off a bunch of women, and, you know, enjoy growing foot-long beards and whatnot," he said.
Miller, who is in marketing and is the designer of the ad, was shocked at the feedback it has gotten.
"I am pretty happy it's making so many people laugh," he told Jalopnik. "I'm seeing it a lot on Facebook, and I'm proud of it. I thought it was funny, and I never really thought it would get this far."
If you're actually interested in the car, the ad asked that you "take a deep, masculine breath, and pick up the phone" to call Joe at 360-391-8320.