The best lines from Nokia's absurdly positive review of its own Windows Phone

Chris Gayomali
The Week

"Like a kid on Christmas morning, I grabbed the delivery bag, tore it open, and glanced at the contents — a blue box with the words 'Nokia Lumia 620' printed on it."

Here's how tech blogs typically review new gadgets: Writers catch wind of a new product, like the BlackBerry Z10, months before it launches and request a test. The hardware-maker's PR arm then sends over a sample device with its own phone number, the writer uses it for a few days, scribbles a review, and the story is published whenever the company lifts the embargo. When all is said and done, the phone is packed up and shipped back to the manufacturer.

Sometimes it works out differently. To wit: Recently, Nokia decided to cut out the middle man altogether and publish a sparkling review of the new Lumia 620 Windows Phone, which, strangely enough, is made by Nokia. Originally titled "Compact, vibrant, and lots of fun: Our Nokia Lumia 620 review," the article, by Adam Fraser, heaps considerable praise on the one-of-a-kind device.

Of course, this being the internet and all, commenters were less than kind:

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Here, in no particular order, are the best excerpts from Nokia's glowing review:

On unboxing the phone…

This time last week, I was lucky enough to take delivery of the new Nokia Lumia 620 — Nokia's latest, and most affordable, Windows Phone 8 smartphone. […]

Like a kid on Christmas morning, I grabbed the delivery bag, tore it open, and glanced at the contents — a blue box with the words "Nokia Lumia 620" printed on it.

On its non-cheapness...

Comparing the weight with my Nokia Lumia 800, the Lumia 620 feels lighter, but not in a cheap way. It feels solid and heavy enough to fit snugly into the palm of my hand while the smooth back and rounded edges give the whole phone a comfortable feel.

On the Lumia 620's target demographic...

From the start, it's clear to see that the Nokia Lumia 620 is a fun, almost-youthful smartphone, thanks to the new color range.

On the phone's sartorial versatility…

After popping in my Micro SIM card, a spare 8GB Micro SD card (supports up to 64GB) and the 1300mAh battery, I clipped on the lime shell — it just happened to match the jumper I was wearing that day — and powered it on.

On its battery life…

In terms of battery performance, I easily get a full day out of it, with a fair amount of usage. As I'm still in the honeymoon phase, where I'm still trying to find new things with it, I'd expect the battery to run down considerably quicker. But it doesn't.

On the smartphone's unique ability to play music...

If you're into your music, you'll be happy to know that the Nokia Lumia 620 plays it loud; at about 100db we believe. Perfect for listening to you favorite bands using Nokia Music.

On the phone's affordability, attractiveness, and ability to function…

As a big fan of NFC, I'm delighted to be able to finally have that technology in my pocket, in an affordable, attractive, fully functional package as the Lumia 620.

Read the whole review here.

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