What in God's name is this feathered dinosaur King doing in a chicken coop? Somebody call the poultry police.
Apparently, the behemoth chicken in the below tweet is not, as one might suspect, a human in chicken costume — it's a real life scary AF chicken. It just happens to have the legs of a Tyrannosaurus wearing flares, okay?
Behold: The ultimate chicken killing machine.
Look at this big chicken. pic.twitter.com/I5JEBOZVAG— Eric Brinkley (@ericfbrinkley) March 20, 2017
If you look closely, you'll see there's a second, equally terrifying death bird hiding underneath the coop — presumably waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It should go without saying that Twitter is shook by the chook.
@LifesBook_Ceo When you see it at this size you can really imagine how they're the cousin of dinosaurs. Shit reminds of me of Jurassic park.
— Tempa (RIP Depz) (@QuickTempa) March 19, 2017
@QuickTempa that just don't seem natural at all idk what to think makes me not even want to eat chicken anymore 😡😡😡
— LifesBook_Ceo (@LifesBook_Ceo) March 19, 2017
@LifesBook_Ceo Bruh, this ain't no chicken. Who really finna try to cook this grown man.
— Cole⚡️ (@__Cole5) March 19, 2017
Just watched the big chicken video, and no shit, did we really think we could cut funding to PBS without Big Bird's family coming after us
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) March 19, 2017
everytime i close my eyes i see that big chicken. i cant breathe. it's all i think about
— Swiggity Swooty (@CominForDaBooty) March 20, 2017
Please let me consume the big chicken so that I may absorb its great and terrible power pic.twitter.com/x3KYI6jMYA
— Rohan's almond (@RJSalmond) March 20, 2017
If I die feed my body to the Big Chicken
— Mark Agee (@MarkAgee) March 20, 2017
I'd like a 2,000-word explainer about that big chicken video, please.
— Matt Ford (@fordm) March 20, 2017
*david attenborough voice* and here we see the big chicken reclining in its natural habitat pic.twitter.com/bdAEW79J0T
— navneet alang (@navalang) March 20, 2017
that big chicken is the scariest thing i ever seen in my life
— Sports (@HeadphoneJones_) March 19, 2017
Naturally, Twitter users suspected fowl play (sorry). But because everyone on Twitter is an eggs-pert, it didn't take long for an explanation to present itself. According to some Twitter speculators, the monstrous chicken overlord is a brahma chicken A.K.A. the "King of all poultry" according to the Livestock Conservancy.
Brahma chickens have been known to reached the weights of 13-14 pounds for females and 17 to 18.25 pounds for males. While controversy exists about the origins of the breed, the Conservancy writes that the breed was "developed in America from very large fowls imported from China via the port of Shanghai."
This particular giant dog-sized chicken seems to belong to a guy called Fitim Sejfijaj, who posted the video to a Kosovo-based Facebook group called Shpeztaria Dekorative, which translates to "decorative poultry." If Facebook's translator is anything to go by, the chicken's name seems to be "Merakli" (not "Brutus the killer" or "Bigass Mother Clucker" as you might imagine), and it's receiving plenty of praise from fellow chicken lovers.
What a specimen. Please spare our lives, Merakli.