‘The Bachelor’ Fantasy Suites Implode After an Ominous Note

(Warning: This post contains spoilers for The Bachelor Season 28, Episode 9.)

“We need to talk” about Joey Graziadei’s Fantasy Suites week, because it was an emotional rollercoaster. Ever since last week’s preview, fans have sleuthed their asses off to figure out who slipped a note to Joey containing those four words and pretty much nothing else. Now, we finally know who it was, but the fallout will remain a mystery until at least next week, when we reconvene for “The Women Tell All.” These producers are really having fun torturing us this season!

This year, our final three women and the Bachelor flew to Tulum for a week of romantic fun in the sun. A few Golden Bachelor alums also got tickets to Mexico, where each of them helped one contestant prepare for the date ahead. As usual, however, some of these excursions turned out much dreamier than others.

Rachel went first after a quick conversation with Golden Wedding officiant and Kris Jenner lookalike Susan Noles—who encouraged her to open up about being in love with Joey. Throughout the season, Rachel has considered herself a “slow burn,” but as she and Joey set out for their date in a gorgeous, secluded cenote, she was ready to spill her guts. Unfortunately, she had to go to the hospital first after face-planting on the water from an exceedingly high dive. (The sign near the diving spot called it a “leap of faith,” which is hopefully not a sign about the fate of her heart.)

Rachel might’ve cried a little about the stress of the situation and the lost time, but all and all, she proved to be a tough cookie. After getting a clean bill of health from Hospital Joya, she and Joey enjoyed a delicious looking dinner that they mostly did not eat (I continue to wish this show would send all of its uneaten food directly to my doorstep) before agreeing to spend the night together. From the looks of things, everything went well, but Joey still seems the most reserved with Rachel, which might not bode well for her in the final weeks to come.

Next up was Kelsey A., who got paired with Golden Bachelor runner-up Leslie Fhima as her romantic mentor. The two bonded over losing their mothers as young women, but sadly for Kelsey, Leslie still seems scarred by Gerry Turner’s rejection. Rather than encourage her to put herself fully out there like Susan did Rachel, Leslie planted a seed of doubt by cautioning her to always remember that she might not, in fact, be The One for Joey.

‘The Bachelor’ Fantasy Suites Are About to Be a Tearful Trainwreck

I fully believe that Leslie’s advice was well-intentioned, but um, ma’am, what the hell? In this show where multiple people date the same person, denial and delusions are paramount and realism is best saved for the therapy sessions everyone should be having afterwards. Leslie clearly wanted to protect Kelsey, but mostly, she just seemed to put her in her head more than Fantasy Suites are already designed to do. Her date with Joey went well—they seemed to have a delightful time swimming with turtles—and Joey even responded to Kelsey telling him that she’s in love with him by saying that he’s falling in love with her as well. (So far, he hasn’t gone all-in on officially declaring himself in love with any of the women, so this keeps her squarely among the frontrunners for this season.) And yet, even after the cutest making-breakfast scene this franchise has seen in at least a decade, Leslie still seemed nervous as producers checked in with her throughout Daisy’s date the next day.

Daisy shared her pre-date dish session with one of Gerry’s funniest contestants, Sandra Joy Mason, who actually kept things pretty sincere. Like Susan, Sandra’s main advice to Daisy was to have some real conversations with Joey and assert what she needs and how she really feels. Then, Daisy and Joey rode ATV’s through the jungle, and all day, and Joey looked at her with the dopey-eyed grin of a man thoroughly entranced. As he put it to producers at one point, “She just makes me feel whole.”

If that wasn’t enough to seal Daisy as a frontrunner, Joey also told her pretty much the exact same thing that he told Kelsey—that he’s falling in love with her and has been for a while. As we enter the home stretch, all we can do is pray that he only drops the actual “L” word one one person. Season after season now, men have told multiple women they’re in love, always to disastrous results. Just ask Leslie.) But maybe, just maybe, Joey will be the one to show some restraint! In any case, he of course also joined Kelsey in the Fantasy Suite.

‘Love Is Blind’ Is Out to Make Us All Hate Marriage

But before Joey can tell anyone he loves them, we’ve got some drama to clear up first. After spending way too much time in her head, Kelsey decided to write him that scary little note. (Did the producers bar her from getting any more soothing or specific? Surely she had to know that “We need to talk” on its own would give anyone a panic attack, right? Is this normal behavior in New Orleans, or were her words being held hostage?)

Kelsey told producers that she’d “rather leave now than have my heart completely broken,” but truthfully, I don’t buy that she is self-eliminating—at least, not yet. I mean, have you looked at Joey? Regardless of whatever advice Kelsey might’ve been given, I have to believe she’ll overcome her doubts if it means more time with the first actually swoon-worthy Bachelor we’ve had in years.

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