'You are not alone': your reaction to Christine Blasey Ford's testimony

The hearing dredged up painful memories for many, but also encouraged you to take action. Here are some of your stories

Watching Dr Christine Blasey Ford share her traumatic experiences of sexual assault had a profound impact on women and men across the US and the world.

Hundreds of women and some men got in touch with the Guardian to share their responses to the hearing last week. For many, Ford’s testimony dredged up painful memories of their own experiences of sexual violence, that had often been privately endured for years. However, Ford’s bravery in the face of those who were at times both hostile and disbelieving also empowered survivors; they felt that they were no longer alone and that they too had a voice.

Many felt the urge to take action, both in support of those who had been affected but also to change societal attitudes to sexual harassment. Here are some of their stories.

‘We need to let each other know that we are not alone, that it is possible to heal, and that life is worth living’

I am one who has been dealing consciously and therapeutically with these issues and their effects for decades. The work is ongoing. The effects linger. The triggers are there.

I believe after watching the hearing I may become more outspoken and feel a bit more free to discuss openly the pervading issues of abuse, misuse and violence against girls and women that is pandemic in our cultures and societies. We need to let each other know that we are not alone, that it is possible to heal, and that life is worth living.

If you are being surprised, triggered or bushwacked by what’s appearing in the Ford news coverage, please take care of yourself. Call a confidant. Call a crisis line. Call or find a therapist. Start or continue to do the work – the work that is so essential to your own well-being and those you love. Be brave. Be wise. Be fearless. And know that you are not alone.”

Susan Powers Bourne, poet and artist, Chester, Vermont

‘We mourned the people we might have been if we hadn’t been carrying around so much trauma’

I went to protest the hearing with my friend Sarah. We have been engaged in a lot of activism since Trump became president. We march, we sign petitions, we send money, we write letters and we knock on doors. When it was clear there would be a hearing we immediately planned to go to DC for it.

Immediately when we got to the supreme court it felt different to other marches we had been on. There was an element of trauma that hovered overhead and enveloped the protesters. Standing next to someone with your fist held high you found yourself suddenly listening to a three- or four-line confession in a hurried low tone, about a rape, a beating, a drunken nightmare ordeal. All ages, all races were here and were doing this. Women in wheelchairs and women with strollers.

We grouped together in our black clothes and mourned the people we might have been if we hadn’t been carrying around so much trauma. Ford’s testimony elevated that level of trauma and made it unbearable. We had all been there. We felt her fear and we felt our own. We remembered other heavy bodies, other locked doors, other laughs. When she had finished it was as though we had been through one long massive therapy session. Things were definitely different, but not necessarily better.

Emma Gilbey Keller, 50, New York, New York

‘Hearing her give her testimony brought back a flood of pain and emotions that I couldn’t hold back’

“Watching the hearings gave me a sense of catharsis that has been empowering. I’m a survivor of sexual assault who experienced rape in high school. Right after my 18th birthday I was raped by two college-age men. This was my first sexual experience and it has given me lasting pain and trauma that has manifested in addictions and relationship problems. I hid the rape for 10 years from everyone but my closest confidants, but watching Ford reminded me that I’m not alone.

Hearing her give her testimony brought back a flood of pain and emotions that I couldn’t hold back. I sobbed and shook while watching her but I felt heard for the first time. The shame and guilt lessened- a sense of solidarity arose. Despite what happens, she is a hero for speaking out. The catharsis of hearing her story and knowing I’m not alone changed my life. I actually researched my options for reporting the rape after hearing her story and learned that the statute of limitations is still open. The pain is still there, but knowing there’s a body of women and allies who support survivors makes all the difference.

For all the survivors of sexual assault: I see you, I hear you. As a country, this is a moment to confront a dark shadow and turn a page to a world where women are believed, survivors have a community and government who supports them, and powerful men cannot discredit women just because it’s inconvenient.

Alessandra, Washington DC

‘I kept silent for over 40 years. Until now’

While reading much of the reporting I couldn’t watch more than a few minutes of her testimony. It just hurt too much. After the treatment of Anita Hill and now the partisan bickering on a subject that affects so many of us, it is small wonder the two major parties are bleeding members.

I was a victim of a sexual predator in the family. I kept silent for over 40 years. It adversely affected my entire life. My family still doesn’t know. Only my two closest friends and the psychiatrist that helped me dig the memories out of a very dark place know. Until now. I have more hope that this problem will continue to be discussed and women will be less likely to have to suffer in silence for the actions of the men who prey upon them. If you have been taken advantage of sexually, speak out, whether you’re a man or a woman. Rally around those who have done so.

Jim , Hemet, California

‘For all the good men in this country: we need you to take action’

It is a deeply upsetting time to be a woman in America.

I have this message for all of the good men in this country, the men who watched and were appalled and know in their hearts and minds that the men with power are ruining our country and hurting its people: It isn’t enough to be good and kind and loving and woke.

Leave your house, take action, write, fundraise, help, canvass, do more than coach your kids’ soccer teams, expecting accolades. Move out of your comfort zones and get involved. Be willing to be uncomfortable and listen and learn from women. We aren’t going to calm down. We are worn out, scared and need ACTIVE allies. This is too much for us. We need you, but more than just your inner goodness. Take action.

Claire (not her real name), Oregon

‘I’m a volunteer with Rainn, and the queues that night were higher than I’ve ever seen’

I was driving with my husband and we had the hearing on the radio. I already knew it would be hard to listen to, but thought I’d try it, to show support. I ended up crying and shaking. I am a volunteer with Rainn and work on their online chat. I listen to stories like this all the time and I’ve never had that kind of reaction. But her talk of how she’s been treated since she spoke up was unbearable. Her story was my story.

I went on the hotline that night as I wanted to help those who had been triggered the way I had. The queues were higher than I’ve ever seen. I spoke with women who had been raped decades ago and had never told anyone. One woman was 83. It was a remarkable night, one I’ll never forget.

This has shown me that we will never win if we stay quiet. We have to create safe spaces for women to come forward and share their experiences. There is a desperate lack of resources available to support survivors, successful prosecution rates are incredibly low, and rape kits sit untested for years. We need a study of lost hours to show the full cost – emotional, mental and economic. To all the women out there: I believe you. I’m here to listen to you.

Sarah , Lumberville, PA

‘I have become a political activist for the first time in nearly 40 years’

I feel sickened by what has been revealed about the character, objectives, and Machiavellian behavior of the Republican party in the House and Senate in the last two years.

I have become a political activist for the first time in nearly 40 years of being an eligible voter. I feel this country is teetering on the precipice of disaster. As an attorney, I still had lingering faith in the supreme court and the process by which justices were appointed. No more. So I want to work to ensure that, in the future, the constitution is made stronger so that it works the way it was intended to even if our public servants no longer have the good of the country and upstanding morals assumed by its framers.

Republicans: can you even distinguish right from wrong, good from evil any more? Oh wait, abortion is evil, therefore all manner of evil and deception is justified in the name of preventing it. And killing people once born through unfettered access to military-grade weapons is entirely different. I used to acknowledge our differences but respect you. After the last two years, Republicans have lost my respect forever.

Debbie Harris, mid-50s, attorney in a major US city

‘I recognized in Ford’s account my own lifelong fight’

The testimony of Ford was impressive. I am a man who experienced violence and sexual predation as a child and teenager. I recognized in Ford’s account my own lifelong fight with memories, sometimes flashbacks, and frequent nightmares. I recognized in her testimony the always present fear of power, especially of assertive, domineering men in professional and social contexts.

Like Ford, the sad experiences of my youth apparently did not break me: I am a successful scientist with a coveted tenure and a very well-paid position, I am a father of three, I have a wonderful wife and many friends. Maybe the sad experiences of my youth helped me to free myself from a social milieu lacking education and caught in poverty. Now I am over 60, there is hardly a week when I do not wake up at night in tears, tired of my lifelong fighting for a normal life – whatever it might be.

We have to acknowledge what has been kept secret too long, help people to speak out, oppose domineering attitudes, and speak out ourselves as Ford so courageously did. To all victims of violence: you are not alone. Speak out and you’ll get the help you need and deserve.

Jack (not his real name), Europe

‘I think the majority of the Senate committee believe her – they just don’t care’

I thought I was OK. I stayed away for the most part but then, piece by piece, I found myself completely immersed in it. I happened to hear Kavanaugh’s response first, in the car. When I got home, I knew I had to sit and watch Ford speak. So I did. And that’s when the anger hit, and it hasn’t relented.

What’s worse to me is that after hearing her testimony, I can’t imagine flat out not believing her. What I think is far more likely is that the majority of the senate committee believe her – they just don’t care. I felt this way after Trump’s election, and I feel that way now. Irrelevant, a piece of shrapnel, collateral damage that can be swept away for the benefit of upwardly mobile, powerful men.

Just as mothers of girls have to tell them how to protect themselves in an attack, I will teach my boys that if they ever see a man do anything that makes a vulnerable person feel uncomfortable, that they are complicit in that act if they stay silent. To speak up loudly, to be the kind of men that are true allies. Men that will never ever walk away from something they saw at a party. Men that will put their own bodies and careers at risk because women have done it for long enough. Time’s up, dudebros of the world. We are coming for you, and we are angry, and we are done.

Meaghan, San Diego, CA

‘After worship on Sunday women started speaking up about their experiences’

I am a survivor. Hearing the Senate committee consider ignoring Ford’s experience grated on the wounds in my soul. I am nearly 20 years older than Ford and my own experience of sexual abuse has had more time to heal through the decades. I had feared that listening to her testimony would induce vivid flashbacks of my own abuse, but this did not happen. Perhaps, if one allows enough time and gets very good therapy and supportive friends and family, healing is possible, and I wish healing for all of us survivors.

After worship on Sunday, as we went around the room to say our names, women started saying “… And I am a survivor” or “Me too, I survived”. More than half the women there spoke up; later, I learned that other survivors had felt more comfortable not speaking their experience aloud that day. That experience – all of us, gathered together, speaking our truth and being supported by many of the men among us, was powerfully healing for me.

I am thinking hard about the high school culture that was accepted in the 1960-80s. I am proud of my gentle and responsible sons, and hope that all boys will have parents, teachers and social networks that foster deep friendship without seeking male bonding through violence toward others.

Rae, San Francisco, California

Some names have been changed.

• In the US, the national sexual assault hotline is 1-800-656-HOPE and the domestic violence hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). In the UK, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 and the domestic violence helpline is 0808 2000 247. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14 and the national family violence counselling service is on 1800 737 732. Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org