How You'll Lose In Fantasy Football In Week 11
The weather is turning, the injuries are piling up, and players you didn't know existed are single-handedly winning matchups for people in your fantasy league. Sorry, but you signed up for at least three more weeks of this, so settle in for another soul-crushing set of games. Here are some ways you could lose in fantasy football in Week 11.
1 Antonio Brown
You'll lose because Antonio Brown is ridiculously talented and got your week off to a horrible start with his 10 receptions for 144 yards -- highlighted by his helmet catch for a third touchdown on the night.
2 Marcus Mariota's Thursday nightmare
You'll lose because even though Marcus Mariota ran for a touchdown and threw for another, he had four balls intercepted and watched a would-be-touchdown throw to Delanie Walker bounce off his hands.
3 Rob Gronkowski, Marshawn Lynch in Mexico
You'll lose because Marshawn Lynch and Rob Gronkowski in Mexico just doesn't seem like the type of thing that will end well.
4 Blake Bortles
You'll lose because you don't have the guts to start Blake Bortles against the Browns. You know you want to try it once... just to see what it's like. YOLO, dude!
5 DeMarco Murray, Mark Ingram
You'll lose because DeMarco Murray and Mark Ingram didn't save any for this week. "Law of Averages," "Regression to the Mean" -- whatever you want to call it, just know neither is scoring because math.
6 Colts, 49ers, Jets on a bye
You'll lose because with the Colts, 49ers, and Jets on bye, the number of crappy teams to stream players against decreased by roughly 60 percent.
7 Richard Sherman
You'll lose because the Seahawks defense without Richard Sherman is not "The Seahawks Defense", which means "Matt Ryan" and "Julio Jones" will be trending on Twitter Monday night -- for good reasons this time.
8 Blaine Gabbert, Tom Savage
You'll lose because Blaine Gabbert vs. Tom Savage is going to happen this week, which voids the entire NFL season.
9 Jay Ajayi, LeGarrette Blount.
You'll lose because you just know you're going to pick wrong between Jay Ajayi and LeGarrette Blount.
10 Drew Brees, Alex Smith
You'll lose because Drew Brees and Alex Smith switched "Game Manager" and "Gunslinger" roles this offseason but didn't bother to tell anyone.
11 Jordy Nelson
You'll lose because Jordy Nelson, J.J. Nelson, Willie Nelson, Nelson Mandela -- doesn't matter, they all have about the same amount of fantasy value.
12 Danny Woodhead
You'll lose because you're not the owner in your league who cares enough to know that Danny Woodhead, Dede Westbrook and Corey Coleman are coming off the IR this week. You're the winner in the game of life, though.
13 Tom Brady
You'll lose because Mexico City's notorious water and air quality problems will contaminate Tom Brady's previously unblemished immune system. He will watch helplessly while quarantined in his hotel bathroom.
14 Martellus Bennett
You'll lose because Martellus Bennett bamboozled you on draft day just like he hoodwinked the Packers in the offseason.
You'll lose because you have more than one player from the Lions-Bears game, which is gonna be one of those sad matchups you forget is happening because the Red Zone Channel doesn't cut to it for 90 straight minutes.
16 Robert Woods
You'll lose because you're facing the Robert Woods owner this week and the Rams receiver isn't done wrecking fantasy seasons yet.
17 Tyrod Taylor benching
You'll lose because the benching of Tyrod Taylor puts you in the position of having to stream the likes of Jay Cutler or Ryan Fitzpatrick this week, and who knows who the rest of the season. Nathan Peterman anyone?
18 Bills defense
You'll lose because both Melvin Gordon and Austin Ekeler can score against the Bills, who have allowed seven RB touchdowns the past two weeks, including one to Craig "Ironhead" Heyward.
19 Ezekiel Elliott impersonator
You'll lose because the Cowboys are going to start recently acquired free agent RB Eke Zelliott, who will look a lot like Ezekiel Elliott with a funny nose and glasses. He will file appeal papers even before he's officially suspended.
20 The Chiefs are back
You'll lose because Andy Reid teams are 16-2 after byes, and Bob McAdoo teams are 0-1 against C.J. Beathard this season.
21 Jay Cutler
You'll lose because the NFL is going to grant the Bucs and Dolphins their regularly scheduled bye this week to spare us from watching either team play.
22 Roger Goodell
You'll lose because Roger Goodell was awarded control of your fantasy team for life in his last round of contract negotiations.
23 Quarterback Surprise
You'll lose because the trend of at least one starting quarterback failing to finish a game will continue for the eighth consecutive week.
Week 10: Tyrod Taylor (benched)
Week 9: Jameis Winston (*Deshaun Watson)
Week 8: Joe Flacco
Week 7: Carson Palmer, Jay Cutler
Week 6: Aaron Rodgers, Jameis Winston
Week 5: Sam Bradford
Week 4: Derek Carr