Anne Hathaway Will Be This Annoying at the Oscars
Why does everyone hate Anne Hathaway? This has been the subject of myriad stories written everywhere—even the legitimate Hollywood press—as the Les Misérables star (and, really, she is such a star) has graciously accepted four trophies on her way, obviously, to winning the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress this Sunday. And the answer to the question is that Anne Hathaway is just so very... Anne Hathaway. Here's the trail of awards-season drama that she hath wrought, as a preview of sorts for hate-watching the Oscars:
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Red Carpet
To begin the evening, all signs point to her being pretty composed, actually. Despite an Anne Hathaway tendency to be very excited when posing on the red carpet for movie premieres (above at left), award shows are supposed to be classy affairs, and so she goes for more wide-eyed Anne Hathaway wonder (above at right). During her pre-Golden Globes interview with Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie, she trotted out one of her favorite Anne Hathaway stories, about that time her mother played Fantine, too. She was a bit more Anne Hathaway at the Critics' Choice Awards when she explained the following to an E! correspondent who described himself as a "musical gay queen": "I feel like if you and I were a Venn diagram the gay male overlap part is very large."
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Hathaway level:
The acceptance, however, is very Anne Hathaway. Make no mistake: She will win. And her walk to the stage will be full of Anne Hathaway surprise, as she makes her way to the stage, likely with deep breathing:
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Critics' Choice Awards...
Golden Globe Awards...
Screen Actors Guild Awards...
And the BAFTAs...
The speech then starts with an awkward Anne Hathaway joke, a joke that does not get a laugh. At the Critics' Choice Awards she said that her name was spelled wrong. At the Golden Globes she said, "Blergh." At the SAG Awards she said: "Thank you, I'm just so thrilled I have dental." At the BAFTAs she talked about almost walking by George Clooney without hugging him. She then launched into a bit that included a reference to a joke that does not get a laugh: "I'm so relieved I'm coming down with laryngitis because the location, the giddiness, this could be a recipe for disaster. I might sing. Anyway, that didn't go over well. It went better in my head." How very Anne Hathaway.
The body of the speech is typically almost as breathless as the walk to the stage. Some Anne Hathaway things to look out for on Sunday: tribute to Hugh Jackman, love for actress mother, nod to Sally Field (she threw in a Flying Nun reference at the Globes), brief mention of husband at the end. Surprised Anne Hathaway jitteriness has not faded throughout awards season, despite becoming more and more of a lock with each show—at the BAFTAs she thanked Victor Hugo, who heard footsteps on his grave.
Hathaway level:
Hathaway level if she cries:
The Oscars are where the world really first began to understand just how Anne Hathaway the real Anne Hathaway can be. This year she's performing again along with other Les Misérable cast members. But even before her hosting disaster with James Franco in 2011, she appeared for a song-and-dance number with future costar Hugh Jackman in 2009. See:
And then there was the ill-fated 2011 ceremony, wherein she received the official diagnosis of Anne Hathaway "theater kid." Much of the performance felt like what you might see at the end of the summer review at Stagedoor Manor—hammy and overcompensating and very Anne Hathaway:
To be fair, she didn't have much hope. Franco was no help, and the entire effort was misguided. But that hasn't helped with the epidemic of Anne Hathaway hate that has spread from beyond Hollywood these last couple months. Will she bust out a truly Anne Hathaway performance this year? Hard to tell. It's a tribute to movie musicals, which means she'll likely be doing her dying-Fantine act, an act that's not so Anne Hathaway, and which everyone kind of seems to like, really.
Hathawayy level:
Hathaway level if Seth MacFarlane joins in:
She's pretty good at grinning and bearing jokes at her expense. (There are many.) Here's the Anne Hathaway face when Sacha Baron Cohen made a stinker about her recent wardrobe mishap at the Globes:
The turn of the night really depends on how many Anne Hathaway opportunities the festivities present. She grabbed the mic when Les Miz won at the Globes, prompting even one of the movie's own to make an offhanded comment at her expense. She also enveloped Amanda Seyfried in her arms.
Hathaway level:
Hathaway level if Les Miz wins Best Picture: (untenable)
The Speech
The Show
The Rest of the Show
