This Is Anderson Cooper with Bird Poop on His Face

Alexander Abad-Santos
This Is Anderson Cooper with Bird Poop on His Face

We realize there's only so much time one can spend in a day watching new trailers, viral video clips, and shaky cell phone footage of people arguing on live television. This is why every day The Atlantic Wire highlights the videos that truly earn your five minutes (or less) of attention. Today:  

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We have some terrible news for you today: Anderson Cooper has imperfections. Weird, right? We always thought Cooper was Elvish or some otherworldly being created for the tears of stars and moonbeams, but, guys, he's totally human. And he has under-eye bags and he's totally unafraid to smear bird feces on them to make them go away. This is a bad sign for regular humans with regular, un-Cooper-like people problems:

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This video will make you wish adopting parents was a thing:

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This one will make you wish the same thing about grandparents: 

Rule No. 32928 of the world: Fireworks are totally awesome and spectacular and are even more awesome and spectacular in reverse. 

And finally, here are some facts that will blow your mind ... or, more likely, elicit weird looks at that cocktail party you were invited to: