Those who weren’t perusing page 53 of the Times of London Wednesday may have missed a very important notice about a new challenger to the throne and sovereign crown of Great Britain.
That challenger is Allan V. Evans, hailing from Wheat Ridge, Colorado. Evans, or someone operating under his name, took out an advertisement in the Times to inform the British royal family and its loyal subjects that he’s taking the reins of the reign from here.
An American has taken out a big ad in the Times to say he's the rightful king & intends to seize power. pic.twitter.com/ba1iQUyGer
— DavidMapstone (@DavidMapstone) March 1, 2017
Evans, according to his newspaper ad, is “a direct descendant of an unbroken primogeniture line legally documented since the 3rd century in Great Britain and registered in the Royal College of Arms.” That’s pretty cool. (Especially since the House of Hanover didn’t show up in Britain until the 18th century, and the current ruling family, the Windsors, until the turn of the 20th.)
After providing a lengthy list of his royal family lineage, the advertisement then “gives legal notice” that in 30 days, Evans will claim his royal historic estate and “further pursue an injustice of history by claiming by right the Throne and Sovereign Crown of Great Britain at Westminster.”
But before you go judge Allan too harshly here, consider two things:
First, he’s giving his subjects 30 days notice of the change, which if you think about it is actually really polite. Some landlords don’t even do that.
Second, he promised not to take the throne until after the beloved Queen Elizabeth II passes away. He wrote he “will not out of greatest and most deepest respect depose her in life for the great service and selfless sacrifice that she and her husband HRH Prince Philip has rendered to this great nation [sic].”
This, by the way, is likely the same Allan Evans who claimed in 2012 he was rightful heir to 400 acres of land in Twiggs County, Georgia, according to local TV station 13WMAZ. (You can read the full account of this incident in the legal humor website, Lowering the Bar.) Unfortunately, he said all his evidence of ownership was destroyed in the Twiggs County fire of 1901. Tough luck, Allan.
He didn’t end up getting his hands on 400 acres of rural farmland in Georgia, so he went for the natural consolation prize: the British crown.
Luckily, his advertisement ends on a positive note, complete with a stellar reference to Lord of the Rings: “TAKE HEED AND REJOICE, all Welshman [sic], Scots, Manx, all Britons, and all citizens of this great nation called Great Britain, that the light of freedom and egalitarianism shall be promoted and promulgated, that democracy and all democratic values will be promoted, and that Lady Britania [sic] who has contributed so much to the culture and history of the world shall be renewed and made great once again; for the legend was not a myth but was indeed true, and more than a mere Tolkien story, that the men of the West are now returning and now is the time of the return of the King.”
Set aside the fact that the man who wants to rule Lady Britannia spelled her name wrong. It’s hands down the most convincing throne-usurping backpage newspaper advertisement we’ve seen yet.
Photo credit: CHRIS JACKSON/AFP/Getty Images
Correction, March 1, 2017: The CBS affiliate in Georgia that reported Evans’s prior land claim, 13WMAZ, is a television station. A previous version of this article incorrectly said it was a radio station.