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23 Funny Tweets That Will Ring True To Anyone Who's Been Married
October 5, 2017
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My husband used to grab a beer and head straight for the shower when he got home from work. Every morning I would get in the shower and that empty beer bottle would still be in there. Apparently throwing it away was difficulty level expert for him and easy for me. He left an empty beer bottle in the shower before he deployed. I found it when I came back from dropping him off. It stayed there till he got back, then I made him throw it away. (the real reason it stayed was because it made me feel less lonely. he doesn't need to know that though)
I posted something similar a few years back when my husband was working out of state and hid the riding mower keys on me. He didn't want me booze cruising while maintaining the lawn but, felt I was completely competent to be left alone with his children. 😀
Some of these are funny.
There are three rings to marriage much like a circus. The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering.
I lay out his work clothes. The coffee was loaded last night; HE turns the button on. I make him a breakfast sandwich while he showers. I packed his lunch after dinner last evening fm leftover dinner (I make extra). I pour his coffee. I lay out his pills, vitimins, etc and pour his OJ. I pour my coffee and sit down & check out internet. I make sure he gets all his gear out to car in garage. I kiss him goodbye; then say prayers to Thank Jesus for this wonderful husband of mine. I take care of all the house, laundry, shopping, grass, yardwork etc....but I STILL have an amazing and wonderful life. I LOVE this guy...and Yes He loves me too....we are happy......smile....
How about when you bring her a treat home for her that says low cal, or weight watchers on it, and get the stare?
My grandfather's advice (married 60 plus years), have things to do AWAY from each other. Do NOT spend all your time together.
I just have to respond to the tweet pictured on article lead-in about the woman whose husband wont let her pick out the wood. What she doesn't realize is that choosing the right wood makes all the difference in the world. How does she think she got "his" kids?
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Rodney Dangerfield
I have been with the same woman for 4 years, nobody has ever driven me more crazy...I think I will ask her to marry me.
Sharts Of Glass
I'll be joining the married world in just over 3 weeks!
I am EXCITED to be marrying the woman of my dreams. She is my life, my love, my heart and my soul. She is my everything, and there's nothing that I wouldn't do for her. :) <3
Marriage = the convenience of selective memory (both short and long term).
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