12 Wedding Professionals Reveal Exactly How They Knew a Marriage Was Doomed

Photo credit: Columbia Pictures
Photo credit: Columbia Pictures



From Redbook

With all the exhaustive planning that goes into weddings, they can unsurprisingly be incredibly stressful. For most happy couples, though, the temporary stress leading up to the big day is well worth the payoff - at the end of it, you get to spend the rest of your life with the person you love most, after all.

But for some couples, wedding stress can actually be the final deal breaker. Just ask these wedding planners and professionals, who shared stories of weddings they worked where they could tell right away that a marriage wouldn't last very long in a recent Reddit thread.

1. "The woman wouldn't say 'for richer or poorer.' Just kept saying 'for richer or richer.' And she wasn't joking. They didn't last long." -Isa624

2. "I had a wedding couple come to see me by appointment to plan the music for their church wedding ceremony. They each brought their respective mothers to the planning session. Right out of the gate, they started arguing over choices for the processional. The groom-to-be wanted something to show off the full organ whereas the bride-to-be wanted something smaller-scaled and gentle. There was no middle ground, no matter what organ pieces I showed them. Then, of course, their mothers took sides and further intensified their bickering, even though I asked them politely to let the couple choose their own selections. In the end, it really wasn't about the choice of music. It was about a fundamental crack in the foundation of their soon-to-be marriage: an unwillingness to compromise or to even hear what the other was attempting to convey. Sadly, their marriage ended in divorce in less than two years. How they made it that long, I'll never know." -Back2Bach

3. "The poor bride was six months pregnant at the time of the wedding, puking regularly. The groom was three hours late to the ceremony. By hour two, he hadn't even picked up his tux. The venue almost cancelled the reception because the groom's number was the only contact they had and nobody knew what was going on. He finally showed up and everything went as planned, albeit three hours later." -bebemochi

4. "Pregnant maid of honor told the bride's sister that she's been fucking the groom and the baby is his. She was dead sober, which is what made it so odd that it came out like that. Needless to say, we got to go home early that night." -youngmanhood

5. "I worked the most amazing wedding ever! The marriage didn't last six hours! I was bartending for the reception. Everything seemed pretty typical and standard as guests arrived, drank, and conversed. The wedding party arrived and everything seemed to be completely normal. Everyone was happy, having fun, etc. When it came time for the formalities, the bar closed and everyone took their seats. The speeches began, with the maid of honor and best man. Everything was going as per usual for a wedding - until the best man finished his speech and the food began to be served. The groom grabbed the mic after the best man's toast and wished everyone a great night and a nice meal. That's when shit hit the fan. After his well wishes, he asked for the attention of his best man and bride. He told them that he knew they were having sex behind his back for the entirety of the engagement, and that he would be filing for an annulment on Monday. He thanked everyone for coming and apologized to the father of the bride saying, 'I would have called it off weeks ago, but I figured you would be way more pissed at your little princess when you couldn't get out of the bill for the reception.' He turned to his wife and said 'F*** Y**,' then turned to his best friend and said, 'From what I overheard - my dick is still bigger than yours.' Mic dropped - groom out the door - absolute chaos. My fellow bartender and I looked on in amazement. We had to go into the kitchen to laugh and high-five." -suroptpsyologist

6. "Years ago, I was a waitress at a fancy restaurant where we regularly had weddings. One night, we had this massive wedding party. His side was one of those families with loads of money but not an ounce of class. Just rowdy, loud, and incredibly rude, making sure to let everyone know how rich they were. She was a quiet, shy girl with a small family full of boring mousy types. As the night progressed, his family just got drunker and louder as hers hid in the corners, visibly annoyed. At one point, the groom grabbed the microphone and did a heavily intoxicated version of Frank Sinatras 'My Way' whilst his whole family cheered him on. Afterwards, he turned to his bride and slurred over the speakers: 'Tonight, we will do it MY WAY, wifey!!!' and then proceeded to make doggy-style thrusting gestures. The bride flushed bright red, got up, and walked out, her mum on her heels. She didn't come back. The groom stayed and got so trashed his disgusting family had to carry him out at the end of the night. It was spectacular. They didn't last long." -caresawholeawfullot

7. "I catered weddings for several years, and the subtle sign I always paid attention to was how closely the bride and groom sat next to each other during the speeches, dinner, etc. The happy couples were always right on top of each other, sharing food, laughing, and just generally chatting. They were in their own world, while the rest of the wedding went on around them. Other times, the two would be practically on the other side of the table from one another. The groom would spend the whole meal turned away chatting with his groomsmen, while the bride looked the other way staring into space. Families can be assholes, people get drunk, and nightmares happen, especially as the night progresses, but if you don't care enough to appreciate the presence of your spouse the very first time you sit down next to them, you have no chance once the real world takes over." -ratbat2000

8. "I'm a wedding planner as well as an officiant. I forgot to ask for and sign this couple's marriage license (I sign and send to the county for recording). So I texted the bride and she said 'Oh, no need, we haven't gotten our license yet, and we'll do it legally a different day.' Okay.... A few months later, she's with husband/not husband's BFF. And now they're engaged. I wonder if she'll be a repeat customer of mine?" -tinysmommy

9. "Once I was doing set up in a venue for this monster cake for 500 guests and a dessert table. Usually with something that big and expensive, I'll stick around and ask the couple or the planner for approval before I leave. I finish and ask for the wedding planner's approval and she comes in, sweaty and frazzled, and tells me it's okay, and I explain how to cut the thing, because it was so big if you didn't do it right it would topple. I ask her what is wrong, because she's out of it and not paying attention. She explains that the bride's boyfriend showed up to the reception space to get into the bridal suite... with the groom's boyfriend in tow. It was a shitshow, and people were going crazy fighting in the bridal suite. She thought it was going to come to fisticuffs. I came back to pick up the set up pieces for the dessert table the next day. Somehow they went through with the wedding, but that wasn't going to last." -notasugarbabybutok

10. "Bride warned groom several dozen times - in my presence - if he smashed the cake in her face they would have issues. Using phrases like 'I am not kidding' or 'I am completely serious.' Groom was a good 'ol boy type. His friends found out about his bride's one stipulation about the wedding. She was flexible on a lot of other things, but no fucking cake-smashing. They started making whip-cracking sounds, teasing him that he was 'whipped' and needed to put his foot down and show her who's boss. Yeah, he smashed the cake in her face. She had it annulled." -dramboxf

11. "So even before the wedding, the couple were absolute snobs. They treated us with little respect as we worked and always expected more when we gave them an amazing service (I know that sounds like I'm bragging, but it was amazing - we made a pig look like a beautiful bride). While the couple were getting drunk and dancing, one of the members of staff went to check on the baby (it's a hotel thing, so you stay at where you get married) and found a hornet in the babies room (in the south of France, they can come in every now and then) because the bride and groom (bride was the mother) hadn't closed the window like they were told to. So the staff uses the bride's shoe left on the ground (a boot, nothing special) to collect the hornet and release it outside. The groom comes in drunk, thinks the staff is stealing from them, shouts at the staff in a pit of drunk fury and our lovely, intern staff member goes off crying. The wife then came in after, and they had a row all night. Various swears were thrown at each other. We gave it six months, they gave it four." -Mriom01

12. "Best one was where, two hours into the reception, the groom and bride are missing. Groom is passed out in a bush on the golf course. Bride is in the coat closet with the best man. The FIL (on the bride's side) sent his daughter home with her mother. The groom was cleaned up quickly (puke and shit) and sent home with his mother. The best man was evicted. The dads agreed that the party should carry on and everyone had a great time. I even got pulled into the dance floor with the FIL and another time during the train carrying a tray of drinks. Big tips that night, and the couple annulled it." -ichibon

Answers have been lightly edited for spelling and grammar.

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