11 Things to Tell Yourself When You're About to Binge Eat

Out of control

For Meghan Sexton, the only thing a spoonful of sugar used to help go down was another spoonful of sugar. She couldn't eat a lick of peanut butter without devouring the entire jar or a granola bar without tearing through four. "I felt incredibly out of control," says Sexton, now a 33-year-old marketing professional in Columbus, Ohio, who was dealing with anorexia and bulimic behaviors at the time in her 20s. Today, life is sweeter. "I don't feel that urge to binge," she says. Here's what she and experts suggest telling yourself when you feel the urge, whether you're working through an eating disorder or just a moment of weakness:

'I'm having the thought that I want to binge.'

Strange-sounding, but true: Simply acknowledging that your desire to take down that whole package of cookies is merely a thought helps create the mental distance you need to reconsider your next steps, says Julie Friedman, executive director of the binge eating treatment and recovery program at the Eating Recovery Center, who's based in Chicago. Just like you may occasionally think -- but only think -- you want to punch someone or tell your boss to get lost, you can want to binge without actually following through. Recognizing that, Friedman says, "can be really effective in decreasing the power of that urgency."

'If you do this, you will feel [fill in the blank].'

Sexton remembers vividly how she felt after a binge. It wasn't good. Not only did she experience immediate remorse and regret, but she also suffered the physical consequences of subsequent laxative use, starvation and over-exercise. Reminding yourself of such ramifications is a good strategy, says Cynthia Bulik, founding director of the University of North Carolina Center of Excellence for Eating Disorders. "Remember how it has felt every other time you have done this," whether it's bloated, disgusted, guilty or defeated. "The moments of pleasure are not worth the misery at the other end."

'I think I'll call [fill in the blank].'

Sometimes when Sexton, who's been in active eating disorder recovery since 2010, is tempted to binge, she picks up the phone and calls a good friend who has also struggled with disordered eating. "Trying to take my mind off the intense urge to binge by speaking to somebody who gets it and [who can] kind of talk me off the ledge" helps, she says, as does catching up with any friend who might not share her history but who can simply distract her. You might also consider inviting a pal to join you for your next meal since dining with company can encourage you to eat reasonably. "One of the ways we decrease bingeing ... is to eat publicly," Friedman says.

'How about going for a walk?'

Sexton has also turned to another type of friend when she needs to distract herself from unhealthy eating-related thoughts: her furry one. "Taking my dog for a walk, getting outside, getting fresh air -- just removing myself from any situation where I'm tempted" works, she says. Indeed, Friedman says, just 20 to 30 minutes of physical activity a day has been shown to reduce the urge to binge significantly. "There are so many lifestyle aspects" to binge eating disorder treatment, she says. "If you're getting better sleep and reacting to stress better and managing life better, it's really, really helpful."

'Go to bed.'

Sure, sleeping through your urge is one way to give it time to pass, but you may need more -- or higher-quality -- sleep in general if binge eating is a regular occurrence for you. "People tend to eat a lot based on fatigue," Friedmen says. "They're eating to stay awake or because they're tired or because they're bored." What's more, sleep deprivation seems to make you more likely to mindlessly eat or binge after dinner, according to the Binge Eating Disorder Association, and can cause your hormones that cue your appetite to surge and those that cue your satiety to weaken.

'I can eat this in 10 minutes.'

Remember: The food isn't going anywhere, so "build in a pause" by setting your alarm for just five minutes, Bulik suggests. "Do some deep breathing, get out of the situation and get some control." Indeed, most cravings peak and pass in just 10 minutes, which "doesn't feel like that long to suffer," Friedman says. If you can bear it, tell yourself you can eat it tomorrow in order to postpone your potential binge further while reminding yourself the food isn't off-limits. "There's power in delaying it 24 hours," Friedman says, "and power in allowing yourself that food in a planned and deliberate way."

'This wasn't part of the plan.'

While Sexton used to begin binges famished, she now stays in control by not letting herself reach that ravenous point. "I have planned snacks and meals throughout each day, so I never ... feel starved and deprived," she says. You can also set yourself up for success by limiting the variety of tempting foods in your cupboard and by portioning out your food rather than expecting to be able to stop halfway through the pizza box in front of you, Friedman explains. "Saying, 'I'm going to stop eating when I'm full ... is a huge mistake initially because our reward system is overriding our hunger and fullness cues," she says.

'My [fill-in-the-blank] needs me.'

Sexton used to struggle to get out of bed, either due to starvation or depression caused by her eating disorder. Her personal relationships began to fall apart, too, since she isolated herself to control her eating. "I would just disappear for the day because my eating disorder was my priority," she says. Now Sexton has a job, husband and two young kids; she simply can't afford to go missing, even though she had to recover for herself first. "I have little ones who basically rely on me to feed them and bathe them and get them to sleep," she says. "I can't have a bad day where I'm abusing laxatives."

'What do I really need right now?'

It wasn't until Lizabeth Wesely-Casella received treatment for binge eating disorder that she realized her patterns served a purpose: "Bingeing comforted me, or soothed me or protected me," recalls Wesely-Casella, now a 47-year-old in the District of Columbia. Acknowledging that helped her learn to cope with stressors in healthier ways. Indeed, Friedman says, binges -- whether you have an eating disorder or not -- tend to be preceded by a negative feeling like anxiety, sadness or, again, fatigue. Recognizing those feelings is the first step to addressing them in a way that doesn't involve food. "The food isn't going to solve the problem," Sexton says. "It's just going to start another vicious cycle."

'Go for it!'

You don't always have to stop what you might consider a "binge" if you're truly hungry, actually enjoying the food or both, experts say. "These days, I'll order the one or two things I really want to taste, not that I want to knock me out," Wesely-Casella says, "and then I'll take a few bites of both and feel done." Sexton, too, now allows herself to enjoy foods like chocolate and doughnuts that used to be "off-limits" when she craves or wants them because she knows denying herself would be worse. "The more I restrict or am very rigid," she says, "the more likely I'm going to eventually binge on stuff."

'I need help.'

Almost everyone eats to the point of discomfort now and again. But the behavior can become abnormal -- and disordered -- when it's frequent enough, long-enough lasting and disrupting your daily life. If your habits may have crossed that line, it's time to seek help. Consider the National Eating Disorder Association, the Binge Eating Disorder Association or the Eating Recovery Center to start. For Wesely-Casella, now BEDA's director of events and membership and binge-free for over six years, counseling finally helped her get a grip on unhealthy behaviors that lasted decades. "Bingeing," she says, "once I faced it and gave it grace, no longer had a hold over me."