11 of the Sleaziest Snake Oil Ads From Trump's Truth Social
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Former President Donald Trump is reportedly planning to abandon Truth Social, the destitute social media platform he created after Twitter and Facebook kicked him off their sites. But in recent months, both Twitter and Facebook have welcomed him back. That’s bad news for Truth Social which, like all social media platforms, makes its money on holding users’ attention long enough to show them ads. If the gutter trash advertising already littering the site is any indication, though, as reported by the New York Times, it’s hard to imagine how Truth Social’s ads could get any worse.
The twice-impeached poster-in-chief hasn’t started posting on Twitter or Facebook yet, probably because he has an exclusivity contract with Truth Social. But that’s set to expire in June, and he put up a message on the platform—which calls its posts “Truths”—that looked a lot like a farewell.
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“FACEBOOK, which has lost Billions of Dollars in value since ‘deplatforming’ your favorite President, me, has just announced that they are reinstating my account. Such a thing should never again happen to a sitting President, or anybody else who is not deserving of retribution! THANK YOU TO TRUTH SOCIAL FOR DOING SUCH AN INCREDIBLE JOB. YOUR GROWTH IS OUTSTANDING, AND FUTURE UNLIMITED!!!
Donald Trump Says “Bye-Bye”
Truth Social is having a tough time even with Trump still posting, to put in mildly. The site is reportedly burning $1.7 million a month. Truth’s CEO Devin Nunes (most famous for the only member of Congress to be tormented by a cow) has celebrated his sickly social media platform in a press release as a “superior venue for businesses to connect with an extraordinarily engaged audience.”
Trump Media & Technology Group, which owns Truth Social, didn’t return a request for comment on its ads.
The cite is a advertising cesspool of obvious snake oil, weapons, miracle cures for ailments that plague the elderly, bogus products, and more garbage.
Take look for yourself at the upstanding business seizing this exciting marketing opportunity. God only knows what the platform will look like if Trump gives Truth his signature “bye-bye.”
1. Free Gold
If there’s one thing I know about gold, it’s how easy it is to get for free. I just wish I’d seen this ad sooner.
2. Trump-Themed Insurance
“America’s first conservative insurance group, shared values” isn’t just an incomplete sentence, it’s also the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. First of all, it’s pretty hard to believe there aren’t a bunch of other insurance companies run by conservatives. The industry most interested in keeping healthcare private doesn’t exactly scream “socialism.” Second, what shared values could they possibly be talking about, denying your claim?
3. A Warning for Men
One thing I love about ads is they tell you a lot about a platform’s audience, or at least, what the platform and its advertisers think about their audience. (Take Gizmodo’s ads, for example, which scream, “Respect and admiration.”) In this case, I guess that audience is old men. What a shock. I never would have guessed that demographic is big on Truth Social.
4. Pretend Money
You know what I hate about the BIASED LIBERALS who run big tech social media companies? They never offer me any free gifts. Not like Truth Social, where you can get your hands on this... fake two-dollar bill?
5. A “Vaccination Exception” Card
If you’re dumb enough to think this virtue-signalling “Vaccination Exemption” card is useful, you’re probably dumb enough to pay someone to make send you a piece of paper you could whip up on a home printer. Just look at this thing, they didn’t even bother to take a real photo of it. Honestly we should quit our jobs and makes these.
Trigger warning: the next slide is gross.
6. Eeewwwwwww
When God created the universe 6,000 years ago, I wonder if he imagined that human beings would rip each other off with bogus cures for toenail fungus. What the devil worshippers selling this garbage fail to realize is that fungus is another one of the lord’s creations. Last I checked the bible says you’re not supposed to kill.
7. Illegal Weapons
I write this to you from Gizmodo’s luxurious office at 666 Illuminati Place in New York City. Here in this state, and several others, switchblades are illegal. The company selling these either doesn’t care, or they don’t realize that Truth Social is promoting a product in a jurisdiction where it’s against the law. Who’s to say?
8. A Magic Eraser for Your Lungs?
I clicked on this ad so you don’t have to. According to the website, this “viral” “all natural” device helps you clear “mucus build up” and is “proven to be incredibly effective.” How does it work? It seems like it... just makes it hard to breath through it, and then you cough up whatever is obstructing your lungs.
9. The World’s Worst Bedtime Story
Politics aside, I’m shuddering at the thought of a parent who would force this kind of reading on their kids. Imagine how angry and boring this book must be.
10. Grade-A Investing Advice
Somewhere out there is a person smart enough to set up a retirement account but dumb enough to fall for this.
11. Sounds Legit
Summer Valley sells CBD gummies. I have no idea whether CBD can help with joint pain, I’m pretty sure it wont “remove” arthritis. This makes me genuinely sad. People are suffering from this disease in real life. They don’t need this.
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