1. Happy Mother's Day to the woman I will always be grateful to for not letting me wear that outfit (you know the one I'm talking about) in public when I was 15.
2. Thanks for always putting up with my sassy attitude. Now please accept this vodka as a token of my gratitude. Drink up, mom.
3. Dear Mom, the reason we fight so much is because we're exactly the same. I love you!
4. Sorry about the stretch marks… Just think of them as beautiful little reminders of how much I owe you. Seriously. Like a lot.
5. Mom, thank you for allowing me to "rage against the machine," even when you thought the machine would rage against me instead.
6. Happy Mother's Day to my wife: We would never find the milk without you, even though it's right there on the shelf.
7. You only critiqued me
All day and all night
But heck, I'll admit it
You were always right.
8. To my mom: I appreciate you so much more now that I have my own baby vomiting, crying, and pooping all of the time.
9. So glad you didn't kill me during my sulky teenage years… because I totally would have killed me.
10. Thanks for not being perfect. Because that's what makes you the perfect role model, and the woman I aspire to be.
11. Enclosed please find one coupon for unlimited access to your grandchildren. (By which I mean, free babysitting for me.)
12. To a mom who somehow always manages to know where to find more clean socks. From your unruly teenagers. PS: We promise to fold the laundry before next Mother's Day!
13. Happy first Mother's Day! Go have a glass of wine and a nap. You deserve it.
14. Dear Mom, you always did your best, and I love you for it. Thanks for keeping me alive all this time! xo
15. I promise I will always answer the phone when you have a question about how to do something on your smartphone - no matter how many times I've already answered the same exact question. Love always, your doting daughter.
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