'The Voice' Blinds, Pt. 3: Adam Levine 'Auditions' for the Show

When it comes to TV talent shows, the superstar judges usually can’t put their money where their mouths are — or their mouths where their money is, or whatever. What I’m trying to say is, what would happen if Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, or even Jennifer Lopez ever tried out for American Idol? My guess is, they would not receive any golden tickets. But this Monday on The Voice, Adam Levine got out of his turning chair, turned the tables, and actually “auditioned” for his own show.

Adam has had trouble recruiting members for his team this eighth season, but he had no problem getting all three of his fellow coaches to spin their chairs as he emotively, stridently warbled Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer,” channeling his inner William Miller and enjoying his own almost-famous moment. Of course, three chairs wasn’t good enough for the famously competitive coach, so Adam cheated and had his castmate, Pharrell Williams, hit that fourth red button — just to make sure the vacant “Adam” chair swiveled forward as well.

With a healthy ego like his, you might’ve assumed that Adam would choose to join, well, Team Adam. But no! He signed up with… his former nemesis, Christina Aguilera! Apparently their Season 2 feud (you know, the one where poor Tony Lucca and Chris Mann got in the crossfire) is officially over. “There’s some things that need some tweaking and fine-tuning… but I could take Adam to the very end,” Christina told Carson Daly with a smirk. Meanwhile, the snubbed Blake Shelton quipped, “I did hit my button, but that’s just because I wanted to see what the freak looked like.” Ha.

Adam sang his heart out on “Tiny Dancer” (probably another one of his many “favorite songs of all time”), and he proved he’s a great singer (in case his polarizing performance at last week’s Oscars had cast any doubt). But to be honest, I’ve seen better auditions than his on The Voice. Were there any better ones on Monday’s episode? Let’s get serious and run through the actual Blind Auditions of the night and find out.

Kelsie May – This Kentucky-bred young YouTube singer and old-school country fan, whose spirit animal is Loretta Lynn, sang a song that was a true statement of intent and total Blake-bait: sweet Loretta’s own “You’re Lookin’ at Country.” She seemed shaky and nervous, a little undercooked (though, to be fair, the girl is only 15), and even though Pharrell murmured, “She’s dope,” he didn’t hit his button for her. And neither did the other coaches. But of course, Blake eventually couldn’t resist, and that triggered spins by Pharrell and Christina. I don’t know why they even bothered; clearly this country girl was total Team Blake material, even before he started namedropping his wife, Miranda Lambert, and his former country contestants (the Swon Brothers, Craig Wayne Boyd, RaeLynn) in an attempt to woo Kelsie. “Kelsie picks Blake; in other news, the world is round,” chuckled Adam. I have my doubts as to how versatile Kelsie can be on this show. But staying in a country lane worked for all of the above-mentioned Team Blake contestants, so maybe she can go far.
MEMBER OF: Team Blake

Kimberly Nichole – This 32-year-old rock ‘n’ soul diva regularly performs at a Lower East Side nightclub called the Box that she described as “Studio 54 meets Moulin Rouge.” Sounds like a place Stefon would love! And please remind me to head over to Yahoo Travel as soon as I finish this recap, so I can book a trip to New York City and spend the rest of my days hanging out at this awesome establishment. But I digress. Kimberly is actually destined for much greater things than working any local club circuit. Her cover of Tina Turner’s “Nutbush City Limits” was the performance of a star, and I am certain if the coaches had been able to see this fierce femme in her rad “rock ballerina” custom tutu skirt, all four coaches would’ve slapped their red buttons hard enough to break them. As it turned out, only Pharrell and Blake buzzed in. Blake was peeved when Kimberly chose Pharrell, but come on — the Kimberly Nichole/Team Pharrell pairing made just as much sense as Kelsie May going with Team Blake. And in other news, the world is round.
MEMBER OF: Team Pharrell

Michael Leier – To be honest, I’m pretty surprised anyone turned for this nondescript Eddie Vedder impressionist. His cover of “Last Kiss” (originally recorded in 1961 by Wayne Cochran, remade by Pearl Jam in 1999) was very wannabe-Vedder, very sheepy and bleaty, and almost completely charisma-free. There have already been better singers this season that didn’t get a single chair to turn, yet somehow this guy got two! Adam seemed unusually excited by Michael, and he laid on his sales pitch thickly, thus beating out Blake; however, I suspect Adam’s enthusiasm will soon wane, and this “Last Kiss” singer will get a big kiss-off in the Battle Rounds.
MEMBER OF: Team Adam

Travis Ewing – Besides having a cool surname that makes me wish this show took place at Southfork Ranch, this one-man band (he can beatbox, do loop-pedal stuff, the works) offered up a really intriguing, really sexy arrangement of Destiny’s Child’s “Say My Name.” His voice was sexy, too — very blue-eyed soul, with shades or Robin Thicke and even Adam Levine. Adam probably should have turned (he called himself an “idiot” for passing Travis up, and everyone amusingly agreed). But the other three coaches turned, and, in a not-quite-“Who Shot J.R.?”-style cliffhanger, after the commercial break Travis finally chose Pharrell. A wise decision. A producer with a knack for creative arranging himself, Pharrell will really know what to do with Travis’s unique skills.
MEMBER OF: Team Pharrell

Noelle Bybee, Bren’nae DeBarge, and James McNeice – And so, the montages begin. I. Hate. Montages. So much. Sheesh, you’d think with a whole two hours to fill, they could have shown these three singers’ auditions in full. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to show Adam Levine’s entire “audition” after all. That sure ate up a lot of valuable screentime. Anyway, I really didn’t get the sense that I missed anything with James, whose Sam Smith cover fell flat, but I wanted to see/hear more of Noelle’s Vampire Weekend song, and I was shocked that the show would montage an actual member of R&B royalty, aka an actual DeBarge. (OK, so I checked, and Bren’nae only recently married into the family, so she doesn’t have DeBarge blood coursing through her veins. But still!) The producers obviously were not feeling the beat of the rhythm of the night this Monday.
MEMBERS OF: Team Pharrell, Team Adam, and Team Adam, respectively

Sonic – This artsy girl had a record deal at age 14, back when she didn’t look so artsy at all — she actually looked like a poufy-haired teenybopper from Xtina’s ’90s era, and she felt uncomfortable with that image. As it turned out, her album was shelved (a typical sob story among showbiz veterans looking to reboot their careers via The Voice). After hearing Sonic sing, I wonder if her inconsistent vocals had anything to do with her career stalling. Her cover of Sam Smith’s “Money on My Mind,” while interesting and funky in parts, was sometimes shrill, pitchy, even slightly unpleasant. She should not have picked such a difficult song in such a high register. But Christina saw the potential in Sonic, and seemed to see a kindred spirit in her as well. Maybe Christina can bring out the best in this girl.
MEMBER OF: Team Xtina

Jacob Rummell – This 18-year-old moppet just might have been the cutest and cuddliest Voice contestant since Season 3’s MacKenzie Bourg, but Adam comparing him to a young Michael Jackson was quite a stretch. Jacob sang more like a choirboy, not a child star. He was all sweetness and light, with absolutely no bite. Christina, who didn’t turn around, asked Jacob, “Where is your inner fire?” Maybe the kid has range, and maybe he has fire, and maybe that can be coaxed out of him… but a cutesy audition song like a Bruno Mars’s “Count on Me” didn’t make that clear. I thought Jacob would join Team Adam, since Adam said all the right things and actually gave a quite convincing pitch, but Jacob picked Blake, saying, “I love his coaching style, and I just really love who he is as a person.” Blake is a gentle soul who’s had a good track record with teen contestants, but I’m not really sure what he’ll do with this kid. It’s too bad for Jacob that Pharrell didn’t turn. That probably would have been the best match.
MEMBER OF: Team Blake

Barry Minniefield – This 52-year-old had easily the most interesting backstory of the night. A former executive chef at L.A.’s famous Improv club who used to cook for all the comedy greats (including Jay Leno, who sent a good-luck video message to Barry’s Voice audition), he later retired and moved to Palm Springs to sing at local country clubs. I was rooting for him, but his performance of “Me and Mrs. Jones” made it obvious that he’ll probably never escape from the Palm Springs lounge circuit — unless it’s to sing on a cruise ship. This was pretty mediocre. I was all ready to see him get a warm send-off and maybe a supportive hug from Pharrell… and then, Adam actually turned. Huh? I have a feeling Adam regretted spinning once he got a look at Barry (it’s possible he thought Barry was one of those young guy/old soul types). But America might like this jolly chef, so maybe Adam will keep him around.
MEMBER OF: Team Adam

Nicolette Maré, Clinton Washington, and Matt Snook – Yep, more montages. Maybe there was a good reason why these particular three got such a brutal edit, though. The six or so seconds of Nicolette’s Taylor Swift cover was rather unspectacular, Matt was just a Casting Central cowboy, and Clinton was a bleating mess who sounded like ex-coach Shakira’s long-lost brother. I was left unimpressed. I wonder if these singers’ Battle Rounds will get montaged, too.
MEMBERS OF: Team Adam, Team Xtina, and Team Blake, respectively

India Carney – This was the only four-chair turn of the night — unless, of course, you count the one for Adam Levine’s fake audition. But Pharrell didn’t have to get up and push Adam’s button for this one. This opera-trained UCLA music student’s “New York State of Mind” showcased a rich, smoky tone with just the right touch of non-sheeplike vibrato; it was a sophisticated voice, a classic voice, maybe even THE voice. Christina called India a “vocal beast,” and Christina ought to know. Putting these two powerhouses together could do some serious damage on this show. Maybe Christina will finally win this year.
MEMBER OF: Team Xtina

So for those of you keeping track, Adam’s team now consists of Michael Leier, James McNeice, Bren’nae DeBarge, Nicolette Mare, Barry Minniefield, and last week’s Tonya Boyd-Cannon, Blaze Johnson, and Deanna Johnson. Team Pharrell has Kimberly Nichole, Travis Ewing, Noelle Bybee, and previous recruits Anthony Riley, Mia Z, Lowell Oakley, Meghan Linsey, and Sawyer Fredericks. Team Xtina features Sonic, Clinton Washington, India Carney, and week one auditioners Gabriel Wolfchild, Joe Tolo, Rob Taylor, and Treeva Gibson. And Team Blake comprises Kelsie May, Jacob Rummell, Matt Snook, and last week’s Brooke Adee, Sarah Potenza, Cody Wickline, and Joshua Davis.

I think the only true standout recruits this Monday were Kimberly, Travis, and India, and I still think Adam is in trouble with the weakest team lineup of Season 8. Well, at least Adam always has… himself.

But in all seriousness, the Season 8 Blind Auditions are almost over! Already! Can everything turn around, no pun intended, on Tuesday? Tune in then, and find out.

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