Grammy Highs and Lows: Adele Is Made Mortal; Kendrick Makes Waves; Gaga Gets Ziggy With It

(photo: Matt Sayles/Invision/AP)

That blood you saw on Alice Cooper’s shirt toward the end of the 58th Annual Grammy Awards? It belonged to the guy who was running Adele’s sound.

That particular Grammy moment was an “owie” moment, on a night that had more than its fair share of low points. But, fortunately, the telecast did have performances that will be remembered more fondly around the watercooler — including knockout turns from Kendrick Lamar, the cast of Hamilton beaming in from Broadway, and Gwen Stefani beaming in from an undisclosed roller rink.

The show’s highs and lows:

LOW: SONIC KRYPTONITE FELLS ADELE

What the…? From the opening moments, it was clear that something had gone dreadfully wrong to sabotage what everyone expected to be the vocally unassailable performance of the night.

Rumor had it (sorry) that a piano microphone had fallen into the instrument, accounting for the horrific clanging at the beginning of the tune. Whether that or poor monitors were the culprit, Adele was… it hurts to even say the word… pitchy. And also heroic, given the clearly daunting circumstances. She later tweeted: “The piano mics fell on to the piano strings, that’s what the guitar sound was. It made it sound out of tune. S*** happens. Because of it though… I’m treating myself to an in n out. So maybe it was worth it.”

If only the producers had canceled Pitbull’s show-ending performance to give Adele the do-over America was demanding.

HIGH: KENDRICK LAMAR’S JAILHOUSE ROCK

The rapper directly followed a performance by the Hamilton cast with a production number that looked almost equally Broadway-ready, moving from a jailhouse set intended to make a statement about African American incarceration rates to an unshackled back-to-Africa bonfire.

The Grammy production team found a brilliant way to stay on Lamar for the song’s climax while allowing for filmic excitement, cutting back and forth between nearly identical close-ups of his face. Plus, with all that sax, Lamar almost seemed to be sneaking jazz back onto the Grammys.

LOW: LADY GAGA’S SUFFER-AGETTE CITY

Getting Gaga for a David Bowie tribute looked great on paper, but the performance didn’t seem conceptualized much beyond giving her crimson Ziggy Stardust hair and cramming in a few bars of as many early Bowie hits into a short time slot as possible. “Wham bam thank you ma’am,” indeed. It’s no real knock on Gaga: Given one number with which to shine, she might have been a hero, just for one day, instead of seeming like Liza or Cher doing a medley on a ‘70s variety show.

HIGH: THE HAMILTON CAST DOESN’T THROW AWAY ITS SHOT

At last, the boost the show has needed to recoup. But seriously: Why was the album only up for Best Musical Theater Album and not Album of the Year? We’ll never know, but the show’s producers made up for that oversight by linking the performance to Lamar’s in a powerful one-two hip-hop punch. And Lin-Manuel Miranda’s rapped acceptance speech merited an award of its own.

LOW: JUSTIN BIEBER, THRASHY ALT-ROCK DUDE

Bieber almost always does a two-part appearance on awards shows nowadays — starting off with some acoustic ballad cred before he segues into a big production number. His Grammy appearance was similar, as he nicely accompanied himself on “Love Yourself” on acoustic guitar… which he proceeded to smash against the stage. Then, instead of the lip-synched, choreographed second half he does on shows like the MTV Awards, he joined up with a rock ’n’ roll band featuring Diplo and Skrillex. It was not unlike the token rock numbers on Madonna’s and Taylor Swift’s recent tours, except the proudly peachfuzz-sporting Bieber looked a lot more out of place slumming as an indie-rocker.

HIGH: CHRIS STAPLETON, BLUESMAN

The thrill was anywhere but gone as country’s unlikely new star proved every bit as gritty as partners Gary Clark Jr. and Bonnie Raitt in a tribute to B.B. King. If these three had just kept jamming for the remaining 50 minutes of the telecast, we wouldn’t have minded.

LOW: A WEEKND TO CATCH UP ON SLEEP

We’re guessing it was the Weeknd’s choice, and not the Grammy producers’, to perform only a snippet of “Can’t Feel My Face” before focusing most of his performance on a slowed-down, cello-driven, wanly sung version of “In the Night.” That anticlimax set a downbeat tone that characterized most of the show’s underwhelming first hour.

HIGH: GWEN STEFANI’S SCENE-STEALING COMMERCIAL

Stefani was given more screentime for her new song in a live Target ad than almost any solo performer on the show. We have no idea how good the song is, because we were too caught up in the success of the stunt being pulled off… even if it did seem to go from live to pre-taped once she collided with some fellow rollerskaters on what looked like the world’s most colorful garage ramp. If you’re a sucker for things like Grease: Live, Gwen won your how-did-they-do-that curiosity, if not your heart.

LOW: LIONEL RICHIE’S TRIBUTE BURIES THE LEAD

Demi Lovato did a knockout verse of “Hello” that should have climaxed the Richie salute, but it was too short and sandwiched between snoozier performances by the tasteful likes of John Legend.

HIGH: STEVIE WONDER JOINS PENTATONIX

Between their tribute to EW&F’s Maurice White and the appearances by Little Big Town and Tori Kelly/James Bay that preceded and followed it, you would almost think voices were in fashion.

SPLIT DECISION: ANDRA DAY SOUNDS MORE LIKE ADELE THAN ADELE

This will be the only night in the history of the universe we can say that. Day’s duet partner, Ellie Goulding, wasn’t bad, just not up to the dazzling standard Day set.

HIGH: LITTLE BIG TOWN CRUSHES THE HARMONIES

This particular version of “Girl Crush,” with its strings and enhanced choral quality, seemed to be heralding a Grammy category of the future: Best Country/Classical/Gospel Performance.

LOW: LL COOL J’S OPENING NOSTALGIA

It wasn’t quite clear why the host was leading us through clips from Grammy shows of the past right up top. And even though we love LL as much as the ladies, it’s also not clear why the Grammys are afraid of ever hiring a comedian to host again.

SPLIT DECISION: CARRIE AND SAM ALMOST GENERATE COUNTRY CHEMISTRY

Now here’s something truly weird and unprecedented the Grammys did: pair two singers from the same genre! As unbelievable a singer as Carrie Underwood is, she doesn’t always have phenomenal chemistry with her televised duet partners. But newcomer Sam Hunt seemed determined to turn up the thermostat with her, boring his eyes into hers as if to say, “You will have onscreen sex with me in front of millions of people.”

LOW: JOHNNY DEPP, GUITAR HERO

Because when Joe Perry is onstage, your first thought is, “I wonder what kind of guitar solo Johnny Depp can peel off?” Look, anything that gets some rock ‘n’ roll onstage is fine by us, and the sight of Alice Cooper’s runny mascara is still good for a belated thrill, and, you know, Lemmy. But the Hollywood Vampires’ prime-time debut was a cluster, and not the good kind.

SPLIT DECISION: THE EAGLES TAKE IT SADLY EASY

Having the surviving Eagles perform “Take It Easy” with the song’s primary writer, Jackson Browne, filling in for the late Glenn Frey on lead vocals was an outstanding idea, and we’re not sorry they did it. But his death is still so fresh that maybe another song from their debut album, “Most of Us Are Sad,” would have been more appropriate. They looked a little melancholy to be performing such a happy-go-lucky number, making for some understandably stone-faced bittersweetness in what we’re guessing was the final Eagles performance ever.

HIGH: ALABAMANS SHAKE IT UP

Brittany Howard looked like a choir member, decked out in that all-white garb, but the opening howl that came out of her mouth was wonderfully unholy. It was the boost of real, 21st century rock the Grammys have too often been short on.

LOW: PITBULL CLOSES THE SHOW

Because… why? Maybe because it’s 11:30 on the East Coast and any actual destination performances have already long since been accounted for. But his act is as overly familiar as any of the late-night newscaster faces that followed in your local market.

HIGH: GOING LIVE ON THE WEST COAST

For the first time ever, Californians could join in the Twitter fusillades instead of having to wait three hours for a prime-time tape delay to join in the fun. If only LL had rapped “Going Back to Cali” in honor of the newly enfranchised West Coast viewers.