Decision 2016: Waka Flocka Flame Enters Presidential Race With Decisive Pro-Pot Platform

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by Natalie Weiner

Waka Flocka Flame (a.k.a Juaquin James Malphurs) is all about breaking new ground, from his own Love & Hip-Hop spinoff to premiering music videos on PornHub. So in a way, it makes sense that he would try to go where no rapper has gone before: the Oval Office.

Making good on a 2012 tweet that promised he would hit the campaign trail, Flocka formally announced his candidacy yesterday, on “the best day of the year” (April 20).

I’m dead ass running for president in 2016.

— Waka Flocka Flame (@WakaFlockabsm) November 7, 2012

Rolling Stone, who appear to be his primary campaign strategists, released a video of the rapper elaborating on his platform. It’s unclear what party Flocka is affiliated with, though he says “Hillary is my only competition, because the women love her, she’s honest, and her husband’s Bill” (fair).

His primary plank is, perhaps unsurprisingly, the legalization of marijuana nationwide. “The president should have a big fat ol' blunt,” in Flocka’s words. Otherwise, his policies range from the liberal (on war: “That sh-t depressing”) to the unexpected (“Anyone with feet over size 13 cannot walk in public” under President Flame). Some of his ideas have already been embraced in local politics – he’s a proponent of increasing the federal minimum wage to $15, and of more opportunities for trade education in pubic schools.

But in the end it doesn’t matter. Much to the chagrin of legalization activists nationwide (and those hoping for a populist, Man Of The Year type triumph), Flocka isn’t eligible to run for president. Presidential candidates have to be at least 35 years old, and Flocka will only be 30 by the 2016 inauguration. Sorry, future President Flame – but there’s always #Waka2024!

Watch the whole campaign video below: