After narrowly losing People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive to Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson, Conan O’Brien gave his concession speech. And though it was a tight race, Conan was graceful in defeat … imaginary defeat. O’Brien is known for being one of the funniest hosts in late night, not one of the sexiest men on the planet. But that didn’t stop him from conceding that honor to Johnson in a hilarious speech not much different than the real ones we hear when a politician falls in any given election.
To open his speech, O’Brien said, “We fought a long, hard, sexy battle for this election. I really feel I put in the work this year. I’ve been eating right, just absolutely blasting my pecs, wailing on my quads, and I introduced two new faces.”
O’Brien’s running mate, longtime sidekick Andy Richter, said he thought the whole thing was stupid and sad and walked away halfway through the speech. But O’Brien showed on a map where he still had a lot of support: in one small corner of Rhode Island. O’Brien also said he couldn’t shake the feeling that the whole system was rigged against him, stating that WikiLeaks released an unsexy photo of him eating very hot soup. But he also said he’s hopeful for next year.
O’Brien wrapped up his speech by firing up his fan base for next year, saying, “I promise 2017 will be my sexiest year yet. Tighter pants, various elective surgeries, and I’m going to start buying top-shelf cologne instead of making my own.”
Check out John Stewart discussing the presidential election: