Back on Simon Cowell's final year of "American Idol," the breakout hit of "AI" Season 9 was a hip-hop novelty song called "Pants on the Ground." Three years later, with Simon now on "The X Factor," lightning semi-struck twice this week with "Ask Me to Dance." And this time, Simon even spit a few rhymes.
What should my rapper name be?
— Simon Cowell (@SimonCowell) September 26, 2013
This Wednesday's "X Factor" episode was unusually heavy on reject auditions (it took 15 minutes before a single decent singer was even shown), but the best-slash-worst reject of the night was saved for last, when a once-engaged odd couple billing themselves as Second Hand High rapped their original track, "Ask Me to Dance." Were they good? Well, no. They were no General Larry Platt, that's for sure. But there was no denying that "Ask Me to Dance" was kind of a bootylicious jam. Even Kelly Rowland totally got down to it.
Here is Second Hand High's annoying-slash-fascinating audition. Be warned: This earworm will crawl up into your skull, feast on the part of your brain that can discern good songs from bad, and then play in an endless loop in your head for at least the next 72 hours or so. Click at your own peril:
Kelly was a fan, although in the end even she had to admit that Second Hand High did not have the X factor. But that didn't stop her or her castmates — yes, Simon included — from shooting their own amateur video for the catchy-as-smallpox song. MC Cowell even rapped, although he went for more of a spoken-word vibe, infusing lines like "Why buy the cow when you can get the leche for free?" with deep, almost existential meaning.
Why buy the cow, indeed? But if you actually want to buy Second Hand High's (slicker, super-produced) "Ask Me to Dance," click HERE. No word yet on when Kelly and Simon's version will hit iTunes…