The 10 Cheesiest Love Songs EVER!
But there's a place for cheesy love songs. It's right alongside Lifetime movies, high school poetry, and Harlequin novels. All of them take perfectly valid, real emotions and inflate them to such histrionic heights that all the love is replaced with syrupy clichés. And cavities. Subtlety has no place in a cheesy ballad. Every emotion is supersized.
With Valentine's Day approaching, we compiled the cheesiest love songs you must avoid at all costs. They kill romance. Save yourselves, and play Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" if you really want to confess your love. You've been warned...
10. Bryan Adams, "Heaven"
Some of the cheesiest ballads come from the cheesiest movies. This one comes from the 1983 film "A Night in Heaven," starring Christopher Atkins and Lesley Ann Warren. The film quickly disappeared into obscurity. Too bad the same didn't happen to the song.
9. Stevie Wonder, "I Just Called to Say I Love You"
Another soundtrack song, this time from the 1984 film "The Woman in Red." This one hurts, because Stevie is great. And, yes, it's one of his biggest hits. However, commercial success does not equal quality. Or lack of cheese. And this one cuts some serious fromage.
8. Lionel Richie, "Hello"
Nicole's dad has made a fine living writing sappy ballads, and this one sits at the top of the pile. The only thing worse than the song is the video, which features a lovelorn Richie and the blind art student who makes a sculpture of his head. It's like a cable-access version of "Ghost" meets "The Miracle Worker." There is, however, one performance of this song that's worth listenting to. It's Lionel singing it on helium for a German talk show.
7. Extreme, "More Than Words"
And it just gets worse. Extreme is one in a long, insipid line of '80s hair bands who got all sensitive by busting out their Washburn acoustics and unbuttoning their shirts. It's a little bit better if you close your eyes and pretend it's some Everly Brothers wannabe bar band. Who are we kidding? Nothing makes it better.