The 10 Worst Videos of 2013
"Best" and "worst" are subjective terms. Something that's absurd or obscene to one viewer might be hilarious or titillating to another. But after poring through dozens of videos, we found some that, by any standards, are just downright bad.
And in some cases, the worse they were, the more people watched!
Read on for our list of 2013's just plain really bad clips. Did we miss any? By all means, feel free to weigh in with your own choices!
10. Naughty Boy, "La La La" (featuring Sam Smith)
The video for the buoyant "La La La" starts like an ad for an anger-management program, and quickly deteriorates into a cross between "The Wizard of Oz" and "El Topo." Simply put, the imagery is too dark and surreal to compliment the upbeat tune.
9. Drake, "Worst Behavior"
Pimps in a used-car lot that sells pink Cadillacs are fine ingredients for a video, but in "Worst Behavior" Drake looks about as scary as Justin Bieber. And the way he prances around the 'hood with his posse, swearing and complaining that he was unloved, makes him look kinda like a wuss.
8. Tamar Braxton, "Hot Sugar"
Okay, there's a cell phone screen split into nine app boxes, and throughout the song, each zooms in to display imagery that ranges from silly to stupid. There's even a blatant reference to Instagram that could have yielded kickbacks or a lawsuit.
7. Miley Cyrus, "Wrecking Ball"
This is a template of horrible shock-pop, juxtaposing tender close-ups with images of the Molly-headed Miley riding a demolition ball naked, licking a sledgehammer, rubbing her naughty bits, and literally tearing down the walls. Oh we get it, symbolism.
6. Limp Bizkit, "Ready to Go" (featuring Lil Wayne)
When nu-metal has-been rapper Fred Durst boasts, "It's Freddy D, the public enemy/You know, the one that had Britney dropping to her knees," there's a sleazy close-up of some hot chick drinking from a water hose. Even Korn fans will long for the return of 'NSYNC.
5. Kanye West ,"Bound 2" (NSFW)
The focal point here is the endless motorcycle ride Kaye and a topless Kim Kardashian take through various nature landscapes as they flex, stand, and stretch. If they were on a real bike they surely would have crashed. Fortunately, the cycle footage is as fake as Heidi Montag's breasts.
4. Ylvis, "The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)"
"The Fox" features baby-book lyrics ... and semi-terrifying noises a fox might make if it were dosed and tortured. The actors here are dressed as animals, and dance in a house and at a rave in the woods. It's supposed to be satire, but it's irritating, not funny.
3. Tay Allyn, "Mass Text"
It's understandable why the psycho chick in this video doesn't receive her classmates' mass texts. She looks like a stalker in the beginning, and while she eventually proves she can dance, sing, flirt, and kiss, she's still creepy… and possibly delusional.
2. Rebecca Black & Dave Days, "Saturday"
Two years ago, Rebecca Black made one of the worst videos of all time, "Friday." Now, she's back for more abuse with (seriously?) "Saturday." She's only 15 and she already thinks she's Paris Hilton: lighting sparklers, playing poker, having food fights, and (gasp!) drinking. Next stop rehab.
1. Alison Gold, "Chinese Food"
This is from Rebecca Black's producer and it's arguably worse than "Friday." Even if the song didn't suck, the lyrics are atrocious and the imagery is offensive, employing every Chinese stereotype and throwing girls in Japanese kimonos into the same steaming wok because, well, you know, they're all Asians.