Red, Framed

John Kordosh
Framed (NEW)

It turns out that red is no longer just a color. And it's not merely how we'd describe Mao Tse-Tung or Cincinnati's excellent first baseman, Joey Votto. It's not even just what we're in after we get a check from Y! Music! and then pay our bills.

Indeed, Red is also a band. A rock band. A hard rock band.

Sometimes they're referred to as RED and sometimes as R3D. Both are equally cool.

Red is from Tennessee, which is in Alabama. They're a Christian band and were the first band in Christian rock history to have a song debut at No. 1 ("Fight Inside" in 2008, in Radio & Records.) They haven't won any Grammys, but they've got a boatload of GMA (Gospel Music Association) Dove Awards, which are exactly the same, only holier.

Framed, of course, is exceptionally devout, so we humbly welcome Red to our slice of the internet. We confess that it's our great privilege to present Red's video for "Perfect Life," complete with funny captions that they -- and you! -- will enjoy immensely!

Everybody likes funny captions!

Isn't it time you, er, "read" them?

Do you get it?

1 -- Lyndsey's new show on channel 11 will be great!

2 -- "And, if projected into a fourth dimension, it's still a bird feeder!"

3 -- "I sure could've used this sweet stack of me's back in my Parisian whorehouse days. Seriously!"

4 -- "It is short. It is stout. But it's not Rob O'Connor!"

5 -- "Oh, I dunno... being pixilated and frozen like this for all eternity ... it's marginally better than being a reader, I suppose."

6 -- "Now that you've flipped, Justin, snort the rest of it!"

7 -- Like we said, they're a Christian band.

8 -- "Well, I guess I will swim to the light. But I could've sworn this was a toilet."

9 -- But where the heck was Benjamin Franklin?

10 -- "This parallel reality pill will allow me to visit an Earth where Obama was elected twice! It's the worst Earth of all!"

11 -- "Look, I'm all stuffed up. Just don't look if it creeps you out."

12-- "Incredibly, it's true! Everyone in the band is me!"