Paris Hilton’s Cautionary Techno Tale Of Drunk Texting: Her New Music Video
When socialites/reality stars and music mix, the outcome is overwhelmingly bad—note Kim Kardashian and Heidi Montag. Paris Hilton, who seemed to have slipped from her hard-partying celebutante throne, is back with a new song and video entitled "Drunk Text". Seriously.
A dance-y, thankfully spoken word song, Paris recounts the highs and lows of clubbing, drunk texting, and the consequences thereof, from racy photos to the dangers of Twitter. The beat is catchy, the lyrics are hilarious, and the video is truly distills the essence of what it means to be Paris. Less pop, more Euro, Hilton's new song is a "Stars Are Blind" killer, and is sure to make the rounds at the all-night parties in Europe and South America. A hot, eye-rolling, monotone female vocalist is key to make a hit dance song!
For those of us who have never heard of a cellular telephone, she explains the etymology of "sexting", complete with an easy-to-follow equation. This could be the evolution of Schoolhouse Rock!
I have to say, I am in love with "Drunk Text". It's ridiculous, and it seems that Paris is finally giving in to her novelty. I can see everything in the song really happening to Paris, but I can't tell if she's taking herself seriously or not. Just take a look at some of the deliciously quote-worthy lyrics:
- "I was out at the club the other night to, you know, dance with my bitches."
- "My mouth kept pouring desperate clauses of random intent."
- "I'm too lazy to type, so I sent a photo I took up a dancer's skirt."
- "No one is safe in the Twittersphere anymore."
- "It's a hot mess of misspelled obscenities, body parts, and run-on questions."
- "She's like, 'this guy wants you to wet your lips with this bottle.'"
As much as we'd like to imagine Paris feverishly scribbling down the pouty, lewd lyrics on the back of an $8,000 Barneys receipt, the song is actually a remake. Created by DJ duo Bradley Roulier and Shawn Sabo, a.k.a. Manufactured Superstars (who appear in the video), the singer/monologist on "Drunk Text" was originally a performer and fellow blond named Lea Luna. But the irony of a group called "Manufactured Superstars" colluding with Paris Hilton is truly a gift from the humor gods.