Miley Cyrus, Framed

John Kordosh
Framed (NEW)

So there we were at the bar, when Ginny the waitress said "Hey, why don't you do a blog about how hard it is to be a big rock star?"

"Michelob Ultra and a Sambuca, Ginny," we said. "So you think it's hard to be rich and famous?"

"Sure, it's hard. They must always worry about maintaining their status."

"You realize that this is gonna make a riveting intro to next week's Framed, right?," we asked. "Did you have somebody in mind?"

"Actually, yeah; I did. Miley Cyrus has taken quite a beating in the press."

"O'Connor?" we asked, raising an eyebrow. That guy's gotta be reigned in.

"No, just in general. She's always showing up in the press for stuff. Dancing in hot pants. Posing for risqué photo shoots. Kissing girls. You know."

"Well, being a big star has soul-draining demands that we can only guess at."

"You used to have her videos in Framed all the time."

"Yeah. We used to not drink, too."

Ginny looked disappointed.

"Tell you what, Ginny," we said. "For you, anything. We'll put Miley in next week's blog. What do you recommend?"

"Oh, 'Fly On The Wall.' It's all about how the paparazzi try to ruin the lives of our greatest stars, like Miley.

We checked the views on Vevo. Seventy million plus. "Done and done," we replied. "It's time somebody took on those damn paparazzi.

"Seriously, though, Ginny, a Michelob Ultra and a Sambuca."

1 — Molly Hatchet AND Miley Cyrus??

2 — "No. What's a Tom Swiftism?"

3 — "Why, yes, ants. I do have a degree in Rubber Tree Plantology. Why do you ask?"

4 — "These literal flies on the wall will prove I'm a serious filmmaker/singer/songwriter!"

5 — "But can even my wall powers help me defeat my greatest foe, Stucc-O?"

6 — Incredibly, Miley also wanted a Michelob Ultra and a Sambuca!

7 — "Look, if you don't like it, there's a lot of other blogs right over there! Did I say that OK, Mr. Kordosh?"

8 — "Perhaps, Ms. Cyrus, you've heard of The League of the Preposterously Dressed?"

9 — "Ohmigod! Will Framed use every Framed cliché this week? Is that even possible?"

10 — "Gotta sing! Gotta dance! Time for a caption 'bout wearing pants!"

11 — "My God! Kids may be reading this! The humanity!"

12 — "It was beyond horrible! By the end, I was actually expecting the Horrifying Transvestite Cowboy!"