Justin Bieber Owns Up To Being Girl-Crazy And Ganja-Crazy, Sorta, On ‘SNL’
In his first hosting gig on Saturday Night Live, Justin Bieber didn't address the Grammy snub that allowed him to be at New York's Rockefeller Center instead of L.A.'s Staples Center this weekend.
But he was plenty willing to make light of two other controversies that have dogged him in the last couple of months: that, post-Selena, he's supposedly turned into a pothead and a womanizer. His attitude, if we can take the evening's comedy sketches as any indication? Guilty as charged on having been ganja-crazy as well as girl-crazy, and sorry about the former, if not the latter.
The pot reference arrived during a "Miley Cyrus Show" sketch in which Bieber played a Miley super-fan guesting with Cyrus (Vanessa Bayer), now showing off her punky blonde mullet, as was dad Billy Ray (Jason Sudeikis). The Bieb got to refer to himself in the third person as a "douche" who "looks like a lesbian." "I heard he still has his baby teeth," said Bieber of Bieber, bewigged and squinting like a younger James Franco.
In a tumble of words that came out so quick, they might not even all have been on the cue cards, he added: "I also heard he got busted for smoking weed and he’s really sorry about it and that people make mistakes and he’s never gonna do it again."
That's one way to address the elephant in the smoke-filled room. (There were no sizzurp jokes, however.)
As for the gossip reports that Bieber has not been terribly shy around the ladies in the wake of his split with Selena Gomez, he didn't exactly do anything to downplay the idea of himself as a very sensually aware grown-up with a taped Valentine's Day come-on that had him rolling around on a luscious red bed and inviting gals to share some "sexy time" with him. The catch was that any sexual shenanigans would have to take place in the presence of his consigliere, an apparently mentally disabled dude named Taco (Bobby Moynihan, in heart pajamas).
Third wheels aside, the sketch established that willing women can still count on Bieber for champagne (illegal at his age, but what the hey), roses, satin sheets, naughty dice that turn up an instruction to "fondle butt," photos of the inside of his pants, and ultrasound gel that will have to suffice for massage oil. At this point, a lot of moms were regretting the decision to let the 10-year-olds stay up past 12.