Adam Lambert: The Reality Rocks Interview

Lyndsey Parker
Reality Rocks - Archive

What IS it about Adam Lambert that turns perfectly stable, relatively sane adult women into blathering fangirls?

Seriously, I've had the honor and privilege of interviewing many celebrities in my career, and I've always kept it pretty together...but something about getting 15 minutes of fame in Glambert's dressing room, during downtime in his Idols Live Tour rehearsal schedule, reduced both my IQ and interview skills to that of a flunky from the Chris Farley School Of Journalism (a la Farley's classic SNL skits).

I mean, just LOOK at the above photo of me basking in Glambert's glittery, guylinered presence, hoping some of his magical mystical pixiedust will brush off on me. My grin could not be cheesier if I'd extracted my teeth and replaced them all with cheddar snack-tray cubes.

Of course, what I embarrassingly lacked in professionalism (and in ability to steady my nervous, seemingly acute-palsy-stricken hands on my camera; I apologize in advance for any viewing-induced motion sickness!), I hopefully made up for in genuine enthusiasm. No one can say I didn't care about my subject, that's for sure. And I'm fairly certain Adam is accustomed to being idiotically fawned over by now (hey, at least I wasn't as bad as this hilarious interviewer), so he handled 15 nonstop minutes of me basically telling him he's, like, totally awesome in his usual unflappable, class-act manner.

Luckily, in between my sycophantic rantings, Sir Glambert got some eloquent words in edgewise, and discussed his tendency to push people's buttons (he thinks it's fun!), his homosexuality (it shouldn't matter!), Kris Allen (it's great that Kris won!), his upcoming siiiick album (it's going to feature involvement by Lady Gaga's producer!), and of course, perhaps most excitingly, his custom Idols Live Tour wardrobe (it'll include a blue leather coat with shoulder-spikes and--omigod--"detachable tails"!).

Actually, I did manage to act like a somewhat normal, non-psychotic grown-up...until the very end of the interview, that is, when Adam revealed a certain super-rad rock song, by one of my personal favorite Britpop bands, that he's planning to sing on the Idols Live Tour. That is when I finally lost all motor function and all sense of decorum, and I emitted a girly helium-scream so shrill it nearly shattered the dressing room mirrors--probably freaking out Adam, his handlers, and even myself a little bit. I expected AmIdol security to whip out a straightjacket at any minute (hopefully one with shoulder-spikes and detachable tails, of course).

Sooooo uncool. That tween chick who used to sob over Sanjaya in the Idol season 6 studio audience would even cringe at such behavior. I know at the beginning of this interview I joked about a restraining order (it was a joke! I swear!)...but after my screechy outburst, I wouldn't be surprised to learn that 19 Entertainment is filing the necessary 500-yards-at-all-times paperwork right now, as I type this. I just hope it's a temporary restraining order, so that it expires before the Idols Live Tour comes to my city next month. 'Cause I ain't missing that.

Witness the complete and utter dissolution of my hard-earned professional credibility below. You know what? It was worth it:

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The Idols Live Tour starts July 5, buy your tickets HERE!