Another year is kaput. In the meantime, things happened this year in what's left of the music business. While everyone has their own favorite moment of the year -- mine, for the record, was driving other people crazy playing Rebecca Black's "Friday" with a nasty smile on my face -- here are 25 that surely caused heads to turn and/or hurt.
And just think if the world spontaneously combusts on January 1, 2012, this blog will be recounting The End of History!
25) 50 Cent Uses Twitter to Make $8.7 Million In One Day: It sounds good. But if 50 Cent sold his stock in a company that he Twittered about that day causing it to rise from 10 cents to 29, then he could be in trouble for pumping and dumping. But did he sell? At last check, the stock he mentioned is trading around 15 cents, so the 8.7 million he "made" in one day isn't quite that much. But, really, what's a few million between friends anyway?
24) Rihanna Reduces Restraining Order on Chris Brown: Nothing says, 'I've moved on' quite like having your restraining order modified. Brown completed his domestic violence courses and is now allowed to interact with Rihanna as long as he doesn't annoy her. It's good to see Brown now has the tools to control his temper.
23) Chris Brown Destroys Dressing Room at Good Morning America: OK, maybe Brown needs a refresher course or one that focuses on violence towards objects that are not people. Instead of performing a second song for the Good Morning America's online audience, Brown opted to smash things in his dressing room. Looks like somebody had a case of the Mondays!
22) Black Eyed Peas Perform at SuperBowl: I had a feeling the Black Eyed Peas might not go over so well with the Super Bowl crowd. You can pull off these kinds of stunts in a nightclub or an arena full of your fans who will forgive you if you're a little, uh, crappy, but mainstream America tuned in for the most expensive commercial spots of the year? They expect perfectly simulated perfection!
21) Christina Aguilera Admits Having A Bad Year: Maybe the Super Bowl was cursed? Because even usually competent Christina Aguilera couldn't get through the National Anthem without flubbing it. But then she admitted she was having a bad year with a divorce, a movie flop in Burlesque, a slip on stage at the Grammys and a drunk driving arrest she says couldn't have been true since she doesn't drive. It all added up to a less than stellar year, but Aguilera rubbed the bottle the right way and became a part of "The Voice."
20) The Voice Brings Competition for American Idol: As if Y! Music's Lyndsey Parker needed another reason to watch more TV, The Voice is, according to Parker, "the anti-Idol" because of Contestant Diversity Limited Voting, iTunes Downloads Counting As Votes, Credible Judges and having More Accomplished Singers, among the reasons. Check it out yourself!
19) Real Housewife Runs Off With Journey's Neal Schon: I'm not sure whose career is in worse shape. But no wonder Steve Perry stays far away. I get it when A-listers mate and consolidate their power, but is a "Real Housewife" anything more than a D-minus?
18) Beyonce Drops Dad As Manager: Could the 2009 divorce between parents Matthew and Tina Knowles have been a catalyst for Beyonce ending her business relationship with her dad? Or is it that Beyonce wants to give her husband Jay-Z's company a shot? The two sides say it's "amicable," which is Latin for "who knows?"
17) Kurt Cobain's Daughter Is Older: All this talk of Nirvana's Nevermind turning 20 made people wonder about Kurt Cobain's daughter Frances Bean, who at age 19 looks quite a bit like her old dad. While Kurt wore a shirt that said "Corporate Magazines Still Suck," Frances interned at Rolling Stone in 2008.
16) Elton John and David Furnish Confirm Lady Gaga As Godmother: Is it possible that Elton John only knows famous people? He doesn't have anyone in his family who he might want to make feel special? Do all famous people need to outsource everything? I know none of us regular people could ever comprehend what it is to breathe such rarified air, but surely we're good for something besides mowing lawns and parking cars.
15) Aerosmith to Make Music Again: When Steven Tyler went over to American Idol, it looked like another nail in the coffin for Aerosmith. Grumpy at the best of times, A-Smith nearly tried to soldier on without their loudmouth lead singer, figuring if Gary Cherone and John Corabi can lead a band, anyone can. But thankfully, the group came to their senses, Tyler remembered he wanted to rock again before he fell in the shower, and they hired Jack "Toys In The Attic" Douglas to help them stay on track. Maybe 2012 will be their year!
14) Clarence Clemons Dies: Bruce Springsteen promises a new album in the first quarter of 2012 and a tour to go along with it. But he'll have to figure a way to pay tribute to the "Big Man" who was an audience favorite and who sadly passed this year. Note to Bruce: no Kenny G. But you know that.
13) Glen Campbell Announces He Has Alzheimer's Disease: In a race against time and a terrible illness, Glen Campbell releases his final studio album, Ghost On the Canvas, and performs his final concert tour. Alzheimer's is cruel disease that robs its victims of their memories and eventually their functioning brain.
12) Britney Turns 30: Just in case you didn't feel old! Britney Spears is officially too old for Mick Jagger to date seriously.
11) Justin Timberlake Becomes Part Owner of MySpace: Because everyone knows that nothing says 'Wave Of the Future' more than MySpace! Was Atari not available?
10) Metallica Team Up With Lou Reed: Turns out Loutallica isn't as bad as we initially thought. But it still isn't good. Only three Metallica fans like it. And Lou Reed fans gave up so long ago, they can rationalize anything.
9) Amy Winehouse Dies: Sadly, this doesn't even qualify as news. Keith Richards needs to offer a course to struggling young talent and teach them how to abuse their bodies and still live forever.
8) R.E.M. Announce Breakup: Yeah, yeah, it's the end of the world as we….out of time…losing their religion…can no longer get there from here…sorry…R.E.M. announce their break-up and have their own words used against them. Millions now must admit they're not in college anymore.
7) Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore Break Up: Well, if R.E.M. can do it… Sonic Youth haven't broken up…yet. But it remains to be seen what will become of Alternative Rock's Most Iconic Couple, aside from no longer being a couple, of course.
6) Jackson Browne Occupies: Jackson Browne knew there was a reason he wrote the songs for Lives In The Balance and World In Motion. Though he forgot to hawk his old CDs at Zuccotti Park, he did sing in solidarity for the Occupy movement, many of whom wondered "Whose dad is that playing with Dawes?"
5) Hank Williams, Jr. Dumped By ESPN: Someone needs to occupy Hank Williams, Jr.'s mind. He compared Barack Obama playing golf with John Boehner as being like "Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu." Williams needs to be schooled in the rules that clearly state that the person who invokes Godwin's Law automatically loses his argument and his contract with ESPN.
4) Justin Bieber Lives!: He released his 3-D biopic, concert film Never Say Never. He's dating Selena Gomez. He turned the world onto Ernie Halter, he had a paternity suit dropped, took a DNA test and released a successful holiday album, Under the Mistletoe. How was your year?
3) EMI Records Sold To Universal and Sony: Why have four major labels when you can have three? Universal gets the music. Sony gets the publishing and we the people ask, "What's even on a major label anymore?"
2) Conrad Murray Convicted: Conrad Murray claims he is too poor to fund his own appeal as he serves a four-year jail term for the involuntary manslaughter of Michael Jackson. In other news, sales of propanol are down.
1) The Year of Adele: Though she had to cancel her tour to have work done on her throat, Adele has proven that people will buy music if they like it enough. Nominated for six Grammy Awards and rolling in a lot more than "the deep" these days, Adele Laurie Blue Adkins is further proof that the U.K. gives birth to more valuable musicians than any island of its size and bigger. Honestly, we should trade a few states for it.