If you've seen an episode of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo," you've probably wondered to yourself at some point, "What does that smell like?"
OK, let's be honest, none of us has wondered that. Or if we have, it's been due only to the sheer quantity of bodily fluids and gasses that leave the orifices of the Shannon/Thompson clan on any episode of the show.
But TLC anticipated this question and turned it into a campaign for the show's season premiere. "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" "Watch 'N' Sniff" cards were released in the July issue of People magazine and US Weekly, and we were lucky enough to get our hands on one.
After masochistically sniffing and gagging through the first two episodes of the season (which aired on Wednesday night), we thought it prudent to share our findings in a series of GIFs of the six "Watch 'N' Sniff" scents.
1. Baby Kaitlyn
If you couldn't wait to smell your "Watch 'N' Sniff" card, then you might've taken a whiff of the first scent, which was of Baby Kaitlyn, the newest addition to "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." Kaitlyn is the daughter of Anna "Chickadee" Shannon, one of Alana "Honey Boo Boo" Thompson's older sisters.
This was one of the less offensive scents on the card — and perhaps one of the easier ones to guess before watching. But the best is yet to come.
2. The Train
Unsurprisingly, the setting of "Honey Boo Boo" became of prime importance during the "Watch 'N' Sniff" premiere. Fans of the show are aware that the family's home is right next to train tracks.
So the second scent on the "Watch 'N' Sniff" card was, naturally, train fuel. It's not the most desirable of odors, but we knew it was coming. Enduring the odor by way of a "Watch 'N' Sniff" card is probably less painful than living right next to train tracks day in and day out. Our hearts go out to you, Honey Boo Boo.
3. Pork and Beans
"Hog jowl! Hog jowl! Hog jowl!" Keeping with their roots, the "Honey Boo Boo" family turned some roadkill into dinner. Apparently this is not an unusual occurrence in the Shannon/Thompson household.
Alana even provided us with her "roadkill wish list": "A rabbit, a hamster, a monkey. They go crazy. A bird, a butterfly, a porcupine. Because you can pick your teeth, with the quills. And a wild pig. Raccoon. A gopher, a [sic] elephant, a lion. This is making me hungry, too." The scent on the "Watch 'N' Sniff" card certainly did not make us hungry.
4. Redneck Slip 'N' Slide
To get back at June "Mama" Shannon for taking away their phones, the girls decided to create what they called the "Redneck Slip 'N' Slide." The activity consisted of dressing up in trash bags, spreading oil and butter on the ground, and sliding to their hearts' content. Did we mention this all took place inside the house?
Also called the "Butter Slip 'N' Slide," this seems like a fun pastime, but perhaps not the easiest to clean up after. The scent, however, was welcome after the horrific waft of the pork and beans.
After forcing us to smell the train a second time, the folks at "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" decided to burn our nostrils again with this awful blend of gasoline and metal. The family went to the go-kart track to burn some rubber amid celebrations for Mike "Sugar Bear" Thompson's birthday.
The scent was no fun, but the activity seemed to make up for that, at least for Shugie and the bunch. Not for us, though. Our only sensory stimulation was unpleasant at best.
6. A Cupcake
As a final (and quite literal) hurrah, the sixth scent on our cards was again in honor of Sugar Bear's birthday. For his 41st, Sugar Bear and Mama spent some alone time away from the girls and shared a single cupcake between them.
Perhaps it was a "thank you" for partaking in the "Watch 'N' Sniff" event, or maybe it was an apology for the repeat train smell. Regardless of the motive, a chocolate cake was a fine way to end this hilarious and unique premiere to "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."
All we can say is we're glad none of the scents was of the infamous "Cup-a-Fart."
"Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" airs Wednesdays at 9 PM on TLC.