'American Idol' Top 8 Girls and #TheDress: Blue and Black and Rad All Over

Last week, hearts, minds, perceptions of reality, the space-time continuum, faith in life itself, and the Internet were all broken by #THEDRESS. This week, the performance by American Idol darling Jax may not go quite as viral, but it’s sure to get attention, and not just because her jazzy, funky cover of “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough” was one of the best moments of Thursday’s top eight girls episode.

Let’s face it: Hitting the Idol stage in #THEDRESS was a genius stunt on Jax’s part. The always-fashionable rocker chick deserves to get through to the top 12 just for that alone — and for making that ugly garment look good. (She gets bonus points for ditching the bolero.)

I for one am going to try to break the Internet by SuperVoting for Jax this week. We can debate if her stage outfit was blue and black or white and gold, but there’s no debating that this kid is a star — with a sense of humor as great as her talent. And speaking of gold, I see some gold records in her future.

Jax took a lot of liberties with her “Ain’t No Mountain” cover, turning the effervescent Marvin Gaye/Tammi Terrell duet into a jazzy ’50s-beatnik number a la Peggy Lee’s “Fever.” I would have preferred to hear more of Jax’s rock edge, but I still thought this was crazysexycool, and on a Motown-themed night, when it’s so hard for contestants to avoid an unfortunate karaoke/wedding-band vibe, I applaud Jax for taking a risk. She definitely made the song her own. Harry Connick Jr. and Jennifer Lopez hated the arrangement (Harry thought it was “dull,” while J.Lo thought it was just too extreme a departure), but Keith Urban praised Jax’s “strong artistry” and “grit.”

Then Jax and her little white-and-gold blue-and-black-sheathed self hightailed it backstage, where she told America, “If you want to survive the zombie apocalypse, join the Jax Pack and vote for me!” Ha. As if I needed any more convincing.

Anyway, Jax was one of eight girls, out of a dozen semifinalists, who made it through this week — and got one week closer to making the all-important top 12. Unlike Wednesday’s top eight boys bloodbath, when three great contestants infuriatingly went home, America got it right this time; Jax wasn’t the only awesome and deserving female contestant who advanced. Thursday’s only real disappointment was the elimination of the lovely Katherine Winston, who had such potential… but after her timid performance last week, compounded by a lack of screentime all season, Katherine’s failure to win votes was hardly a shock. As for the melody-allergic Shi Scott, super-green Shannon Berthiaume, and pageanty Lovey James, it was just their time to go.

And now, without further ado, here are the rest of your top eight girls:

Tyanna Jones – “Rockin’ Robin” is most famously associated with Michael Jackson and the Jackson 5, who covered it in 1972, but as a longtime Idol viewer, I of course can never shake the association of bird-calling Megan Joy from Season 8. Caw-caw! But I digress. Tyanna refrained from making any robin noises, which was for the best, but she definitely took flight. I am a little concerned, at this point, that Tyanna is getting in the habit of picking upbeat songs that don’t totally show what she can do vocally, but she’s always fun, exuding pure joy onstage, and I always look forward to seeing her perform. “What a great way to kick that off. Perfect song for you,” raved Keith. “You’re giving me throwback vibes. I feel like we’re back in that time when Motown was on the radio… it was awesome,” gushed Jennifer. Said Harry: “The biggest question I have is, what can’t you sing?” I’d love for Tyanna to stick around, so she can prove that there is no answer to that question. I think we’ve only just begun to witness the full scope of her talent.

Loren Lott – Season 14’s resident drama queen laid on the theatrics upon hearing Ryan Seacrest call her name, shrieking wildly. But when she finally got onstage, the only thing wild about her actual performance was her lioness hair. The Jackson 5’s “I Wanna Be Where You Are” wasn’t the best song choice: It wasn’t a ballad, it wasn’t uptempo, it was just midtempo, and it dragged. She went sharp with that big note at the end, too. Loren has some major pipes, but she’s really an actress who sings, so she’s better off sticking with dramatic balladry. However, J.Lo told her, “You really have something, an innate talent,” and hard-to-impress Hatchet Harry even proclaimed, “There’s been a high, high bar set [this season]… and based on what I just saw there, I think you may have nudged that bar up just a little bit higher.” We’ll see if America agrees.

Maddie Walker – OK, it’s official: Riley Bria may have shockingly gotten the boot Wednesday, but we do have some country in the top 16 mix. That’s a good thing. I just wish Maddie’s cover of “I’ll Be There” had been more, well, countrified. Keith claimed Maddie made the song her own by not imitating Michael Jackson’s famous runs, but she needed to do more, like put a little twang into it, not to mention some actual emotion — this was a flat and Stepfordy performance, with Maddie oddly disconnected from the tender lyrics. Harry pointed out Maddie’s lack of dynamics and tendency to go sharp, but he said this performance silenced everyone who’d doubted Maddie since she’d won that bizarre Green Mile sing-off against fellow country girl Rachael Hallack. (I’m not so sure about that. I still have doubts.) Keith, however, noted that Maddie looked nervous. If Maddie does get through, next week she needs to play more to the country audience and claim that space (it’s hers to own this year), and she also needs to heed Keith’s advice and really think about what’s she’s singing.

Joey Cook – Huzzah! Joey’s vivacious, playful “Shop Around” was a total 180 from Maddie’s tepid, deer-in-headlights number. Swinging merrily in her polka-dotted party dress to an upright bass groove, she seemed like the female Casey Abrams. (Joey and Casey really need to meet and duet someday. How can we make this happen?) Without a ukulele to strum or a squeezebox to squeeze, Joey was free to work the stage… and man oh man, was she ever free! Maybe this free spirit isn’t the strongest female singer of the season, but she’s definitely the most interesting. She has attitude and swagger and knows how to entertain, and the lyric-flubbing nervousness she exhibited during Hollywood Week now seems to be a thing of the distant past. Now she’s just plain fearless. “You make bespoke, custom music that suits you. I so look forward to hearing what you do,” Keith said with a smile. “You’re so unique, and it’s so beautiful to see someone be so uninhibited… that’s entertainment!” said Jennifer. Stick-in-the-mud Harry was the lone dissenter, wondering if viewers will “start to get tired” of Joey’s quirkiness and “hyper-stylization.” I may have a higher-than-average tolerance for this sort of shtick, but all I know is, I’m not tired of Joey yet.

Sarina-Joi Crowe – Last week, Sarina was a total rock star, high-kicking in a fun-fur coat. This week, she toned it down, doing “You’ve Really Got a Hold on Me” accompanied by just one guitar… and she still had a hold on her audience. The stripped arrangement really highlighted her gorgeous tone and creative-but-never-affected phrasing, and she worked the camera well, singing the song straight to the lens. “Mama, you sing. You really, really sing… I really believe in you. You’re probably the best singer here,” said J.Lo. Harry, however, called Sarina out on her intonation, saying she was “consistently flat.” This was baffling, considering how easy the judges went on pitchier singers like Loren, Maddie, and even Joey. I agreed with J.Lo’s assessment. Sarina can sang.

Adanna Duru – And here I was thinking Loren Lott was the actress of the Season 14 bunch! Adanna brought the drama this week. Her cover of Lionel Richie’s “Hello” was so over-the-top, I practically expected a stagehand to wheel out a misshapen clay bust of Ryan Seacrest’s head. That doesn’t mean I didn’t like this. I loved it. I loved how Adanna just went for it: the camera staredown that burned holes through the screen, the breathy “I love you” declaration, the outstretched Bono arms, everything. I do wonder, however, if other viewers enjoyed this as much as I did. It may have been just a bit too much. Keith said Adanna “owned the song,” but Harry criticized the intonation again, and J.Lo just shrugged, “I liked it; I didn’t love it.”

Alexis Gomez – Representing country again was this little filly… but she didn’t represent it very well, I’m afraid. I’ve liked Alexis all season, and was relieved when she was the last name called, but I don’t know what happened here. Maybe having to wait until the very end of the episode freaked Alexis out, or maybe by then she’d assumed she was going home, so she was blindsided and unprepared when she found out she’d have to perform after all. Her barefoot rush-job through “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)” was total drunk-karaoke fare. Maybe Alexis should have helped herself! Keith didn’t like the song choice. Harry basically told her to simma down now. And J.Lo, who freely (and annoyingly) admitted that pitchiness doesn’t matter that much to her, said: “That was so out of key, it even bothered me!” I know Alexis got the “pimp spot,” but I don’t think that’s going to help her this week.

So next Wednesday, five girls and five guys will be voted through to the top 12, accompanied by two judge-selected Wild Cards. (Maddeningly, it seems those Wild Cards will be culled from the top 16, not the top 24, which means there’s no hope for Savion Wright or Katherine Winston.) I think the top five girls will be Jax, Tyanna, Sarina, Joey, and Adanna. (Yes, I’m predicting a total country shutout here.) Among the boys, I predict it’ll be Quentin Alexander, Qaasim Middleton, Clark Beckham, Nick Fradiani, and, for better or worse, little Daniel Seavey — although I’m already forming a prayer circle for the much, much more deserving Rayvon Owen.

Tune in next week to find out if I’m right! Until then, Parker out.

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