'American Idol' Recap: Hollywood-a, Coulda, Shoulda
It makes sense that this Wednesday’s American Idol Hollywood Week episode aired the same week as Groundhog Day. Because by the end of the hour, almost nothing had changed. And now the show will have to do it all over again on Thursday.
The whole first day was pretty much a wash. The judges had the standout contestants from the past few weeks of auditions (sadly minus some of my personal favorite standouts, like Quentin Alexander, Riley Bria, Cody Fry, Stephanie Gummelt, Maddy Hudson, Jess Lamb, Rayvon Owen, Kohlton Pascal, Rocky Peter, Katherine Skinner, Casey Thrasher, and Jhameel) sing on the very first day — without explaining why, or offering any immediate feedback.
Remember last season’s Hollywood Week debacle, when a bunch of on-the-cusp contestants had to sing in a sudden-death airplane hangar round before immediately taking a bus ride of shame back to LAX? Well, these poor kids probably remembered it all too well — so they probably thought they were goners, as opposed to Season 14’s chosen ones. Therefore, some of them understandably crumbled under the pressure, despite Keith Urban’s well-meaning advice that they “just chill out.”
Among the contestants who rose to the challenge were glam piano girl Jax, Voice veteran Mark Andrew, country cutie Emily Brooke, plucky church girl Tyanna Jones, returning Season 13 hero Savion Wright, blind country singer Garrett Miles, adorkable nerd-boy Trevor Douglas, Carlos Santana’s cougar-bait nephew Adam Lasher, and quirky girl Joey Cook (the latter trading in her squeezebox for that other quirky-girl instrument of choice, a ukulele, and her blue hair for a new lavender ‘do). It was no surprise that all of these singers survived to live another day of Hollywood Week.
But some others weren’t quite so composed. Chris Sligh lookalike/belty rocker Adam Ezegalien mostly nailed his cover of Imagine Dragons’ “Demons,” but struggled with the song’s more demonic high notes. Hollywood Anderson, whose amazing original song “Best Friend” had made him one of my favorite auditioners of the entire season, so drastically changed up Adele’s beloved “Someone Like You” that it actually sounded like a whole new song; he might as well have performed another original. Shannon Berthiaume started off strong but then started acting drunk (I am not saying she was drunk; that’s just the sloppy, confused vibe she gave off), and she forgot all her lyrics. Poor little Amber Kelechi Walker, fearing that she’d have to go back her rough Memphis ‘hood, totally unraveled, on- and offstage. None of these singers, talented as they may be, seemed ready for prime time.
But then… Jennifer Lopez told them they were all getting the “benefit of the doubt.” They all made it through. So thanks, Idol, for wasting an entire day of these kids’ lives. And, more importantly, 30 minutes of my own life.
Day two featured a mostly forgettable speed round of contestants apparently not considered the best of the bunch; I’m sure that realization gave all of them a big boost of confidence. Reno Anoa’i (the nice kid from a huge Samoan family), Michael Simeon (the nice guy who asked J.Lo to dance), and Priscilla Barker (the nice country girl with the Keith Urban-fangirl mom) all gave serviceable performances. Soul singers Big Ron and Erica Washington, and totally-’90s indie chick Jaq Mackenzie, fared much better.
But at the end of this second day, most of the cuts were contestants I’d literally never seen or heard before, contestants whose auditions had never aired in the first place. The recognizable rejects were Priscilla, Tara Honda (too bad; I thought she had potential), and that annoying Jerry Lee Lewis impersonator, Jacob Tolliver.
Another contestant I don’t remember, an overconfident lass named Gabby Zonneveld, fell apart during her cover of Delta Rae’s “Bottom of the River”… and then, mid-song, the episode ground to a halt. I guess this was supposed to be a cliffhanger of sorts, but since I didn’t really care what happened to Gabby (compared to, say, what happened to Rocky Peter or Jess Lamb), and I assumed that Gabby would get the “benefit of the doubt” anyway, I just shrugged and reached for the remote.
So what the heck was all that? Almost no progress was made this Wednesday. Few great performances (and there were several) were shown in full. And there wasn’t even any real classic Hollywood Week drama! Who edited this episode? Surely there must be some more interesting footage on the cutting room floor somewhere.
Well, maybe we will see that footage Thursday. I sure hope so. Until then, Parker out.
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