Let’s say you’re hanging by the curb and the ever-ebullient Melissa McCarthy pulls up in a sad-looking Ford Taurus and says, “Hey! Get in! Take a ride with me!” Do. Not. Get In. You see, McCarthy has a long onscreen track record of speeding, stealing, flipping, crashing, burning, dropping people on top of, exploding, ramming, and otherwise destroying motorized vehicles. Her latest flick, Tammy, in which McCarthy and “Bad Grandma” Susan Sarandon take a cross-country road trip, is no exception. Behold the evidence:
Identity Thief (2013)
Damage Done: First McCarthy steals Jason Bateman’s car. Then she T-bones his rental car. She also knocks the driver of a van unconscious, and forces Bateman to ram into said van on the freeway, setting off a chain of events that end in Bateman’s car being run over by a semi. Later she breaks a police windshield, flies off the hood of a yet another car, and starts a highway pursuit that ends like this.
Destruct-O-Meter Rating (out of 5):
Damage Done: Okay, fine — so McCarthy doesn’t get into any actual accidents in this one. But her minivan looks like the car equivalent of Nick Nolte, and she packs it with SOMETHING LIKE 18 untethered puppies, which cannot make for safe riding conditions. Oh, and she appears not to be wearing her seatbelt, an offense that, in the state of Wisconsin (Bridesmaid’s locale), will set you back a minimum of $10.
The Heat (2013)
Damage Done: This one cuts right to the chase. Literally. McCarthy is behind the wheel of an unwieldy rust bucket chasing a perp on foot. Unsurprisingly, she hits him with her car. Twice. Later, she dangles another dude over a balcony and drops him two stories onto the hood of an SUV. Sandra Bullock looks on disapprovingly through all of this.
Damage Done: The movie starts with Tammy (McCarthy) totaling her prehistoric clunker of a car. Later, her and Grandma (Sarandon) get their grubbies on Tammy’s Mom’s car. That one gets a more painful death — they slam back beers while driving, go drunk 4-bying, and eventually blow it up. Bonus: McCarthy also crashes a Wave Runner, which she later sets aflame in a lake, Viking-burial style.