Stephen Colbert Pretends to Be a Butterball Turkey Expert, Confusion Ensues

The Hollywood Reporter

To celebrate Thanksgiving, Stephen Colbert manned the Butterball turkey hotline again.

The Late Show host put on his best Thanksgiving sweater, complete with a giant turkey on the front, as well as a festive headband with drumsticks, and answered turkey-related phone calls. The woman who sat him down didn't catch on to his jokes about giving callers a "happy ending" as Colbert started his mischief.

"Butterball hotline, let's butter your balls," he said enthusiastically. Colbert told a woman there was something wrong with her turkey if she bought it without thighs, and on another call pretended to be an air traffic controller, threatening to get homeland security involved if the customer didn't put the pilot on the phone.

"I'm going to call the police, all right?" said the woman. "Well, I'm going to call the army," responded Colbert.

He asked another customer who called to question whether her turkey was thawed: "Does it sound like a rock when you hit it with a spoon or does it sound like you're spanking a lover?"

He struggled to stop himself from laughing as she said it sounded like a spanking, holding the phone by the turkey so he could hear.

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