Happy Movember 2016! A month we’ll remember as a time we thought about mustaches, men’s health, and… probably nothing else. The Movember Foundation began in 2004 with the goal of “changing the face of men’s health” by raising awareness for various cancers. We’d like to salute Movember and our mustachioed brethren with SuperFan’s Top 10 TV Mustaches.
First up, the Near Misses: If we were including people based on their facial hair alone, near the top would be the blonde horseshoe that encompasses Hulk Hogan’s awful, vulgar mouth. Alex Trebek was another near miss as most remember him with his tight, grey bristle lip. But he shaved in 2001. Traitor.
10) Dr. Phil McGraw
In the tenth spot is Dr. Phil. His shiny, bald dome may divert attention away from what he’s working with just below the nose. But we noticed, Dr. Phil. And we like it.
9) Al Swearengen, Deadwood
At number 9 is the foul-mouthed Al Swearengen from Deadwood. The F-word never sounded so sweet as it passed between his prickly lips.
8) Gomez Addams, The Addams Family
Number 8 goes to Gomez Addams. Cousin Itt upstaged Gomez in the hair department, but it was the ‘stache that held the family together when times got tough.
7) Sgt. Andy Sipowicz, NYPD Blue
Sergeant Sipowicz is at Seven for perfecting the cop ‘stache. Would that scowl been half as piercing without them whiskers? Not a chance.
6) Geraldo Rivera
Say what you will about Geraldo’s journalistic integrity, the man has the flowing, freewheeling facial fuzz of the gods! Of the gods! And that’s why he’s Number 6.
5) Mike “Meathead” Stivic, All in the Family
Mike Stivic is our Number 5. Archie Bunker insisted his head was made of meat, but his mustache was made of 1970s American dreams.
4) Steve Harvey
Number 4 is Steve Harvey, and I ask you: Would Harvey’s slackjawed contempt for contestants make us roll in the aisles if he was clean shaven? THIS MAN has the answer.
3) Ned Flanders, The Simpsons
Ned Flanders’ okilly dokilly soup strainer is our Number 3 pick for revealing the softer side of crumb catchers.
2) Thomas Magnum, Magnum, P.I.
At number 2 is Thomas Magnum for making us all buy Hawaiian shirts and grow out our upper lips with reckless abandon.
1) Ron Swanson, Parks and Recreation
Ron Swanson is our gold medal winner for making the ‘stache great again. Like Samson before him, his power derives from his follicles, and his power was mighty.
How The Hoff Saved ‘Baywatch’…
Tell us what you think! Who has your favorite mustache on TV? Any that we forgot? Hit us up on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram or leave your comments below. And check out our host, Khail Anonymous, on Twitter.