The Wit & Wisdom of 'Modern Family's Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

Mission statement: "I am not a hothead! I am Colombian! We get excited! My country is covered in coffee!"

When her shirt bursts open: "Let's go, because Victoria is about to spill all of her secrets!"

(See photo gallery: Why Sofia Vergara Has Got It All - in Her Own Words)

The savvy detective: "I'm Colombian. I know a fake crime scene when I see one."

To her husband: "You look so strong and sexy. Like an Olympic wrestler but with money."

And: "I am the second wife, Jay. Why do you treat me like I'm the first?"

(Also read: Sofia Vergara: 'I Don't Know Why People Think Stereotypes Are So Terrible')

In Hawaii: "I thought one of the advantages of marrying an older guy was that I was going to be able to relax. But all of this swimming and rowing, it's just like how some of my relatives got into this country."

Cultural guide: "Do you know what a doll is in my village? An apple on a fork."

On pregnancy: "I am too tired. The baby kicked me all night. I swear it's either going to be a football player or a chorus girl."

Confusing her sayings: "Does the bear sit in the woods?"

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