Ted: Film Review
The merrily rude humor of Family Guy slides right into feature films with nary a burp nor a fart in Ted, a raucously funny goof about a boozing, pot-smoking, foul-mouthed teddy bear who would be instant new best friends with The Hangover guys. Not too many films serve up laughs that just keep on rolling with regularity from beginning to end, but Seth MacFarlane's directorial debut does so and without any feeling of strain. There's admittedly something a bit weird about the premise that might keep away some viewers who would otherwise belly up for a good gross comedy, but the comedy quotient is more than high enough to prompt upbeat word-of-mouth and solid summer business.
MacFarlane's wise-ass, ecumenically offensive joke-making is recognizable from the first scene, in which a bunch of suburban Christian kids celebrate Christmas by beating up the neighborhood Jewish kid, who in the middle of things warns the unpopular kid not to help him out. Poor little John Bennett has no friends at all until his parents offer him his dreamed-of present: a stuffed bear who fulfills the boy's wish of coming alive.
Naturally, this one-of-a-kind walking and talking creature becomes a national celebrity in 1985 and a wonderful Zelig-like scene has Ted, a totally credible CGI creation voiced in a thick Boston accent by MacFarlane, appearing with Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show. But even a talking bear becomes old hat after a while and, a quarter-century later, Ted suffers the fate of many other child stars, indulging in major substance abuse while living in the past and mooching off others.
Ted's main enabler is his lifelong “thunder buddy” John (Mark Wahlberg), who, at 35, still spends way too much time getting wasted with his fuzzy friend, whose coat, truth be told, is beginning to wear as thin as his act in spots. John's dreamy girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) is more tolerant of the best friend than John deserves, but their fourth anniversary of togetherness cues certain expectations in her that John is not yet ready to offer.
Like Family Guy, the film serves up cutaway digressions that are hilarious partly for being so unexpected; a flashback to John's first meeting Lori is cast in the form of homage to the Saturday Night Fever disco dance lampoon in Airplane! The fact that some of the jokes sound as if they really belong in the mouth of cartoon characters might have something to do with the fact that Ted was originally conceived as an animated series, but the script by MacFarlane and longtime Family Guy writers Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild acknowledges and adheres to traditional structural rules concerning emotional expectations and payoffs; it might even take one step too many in that direction at the close.
The film finds its true nostalgic self in the '80s, or least in a wildly unanticipated mining of its drugged-out ethos personified by Sam Jones, the long-forgotten star of the much-maligned 1980 film Flash Gordon. Just when John has finally chosen Lori over Ted and forced the bear to find his own apartment, Ted calls to insist that John join him at a bash with their all-time favorite actor, the self-same Jones. The latter parties like it's 1980, all right, starting by downing shots and moving on quickly to mounds of coke in a wildly frenetic and pretty outrageous sequence topped by an irate Asian neighbor's duck pecking the crap out of the obscene Ted. Jones, who remains in excellent shape as he approaches 60, is very game and should get a nice little career boost by virtue of his genially gonzo turn.
Singer Norah Jones also contributes a nifty cameo as herself, freely admitting that she had a thing with Ted some years back and that he was pretty good for a guy without the usual equipment. An uncredited appearance, and one so sexually unexpected as to provoke a double and even triple take to make sure it's who you think it is, is put in by Ryan Reynolds.