Matt Damon Cuts the Crap, Announces Toilet Protest in a Spoof for His Charity (Video)

Note to Oscar attendees: Don't sit next to Matt Damon.

In a new bid to raise awareness for his clean foundation, Water.org, the Promised Land star released a video online in which he promised to boycott all bodily functions until every single person in the world has access to clean water and a toilet. Ben Affleck may want to think twice before thanking him in any Oscar speech; things might get pretty ugly in the next two weeks.

Damon, of course, is being facetious, but his charity is serious business. He has long campaigned for improvements in irrigation and plumbing around the world, and his film Promised Land took on the issue of hydraulic fracturing -- a natural gas extraction process that is said to pollute water beds by injecting secret chemical formulas into underground rock formations.