Five Reasons To Just Say 'No' To 'Noobz'
New video-game movie Noobz hits theaters this weekend, so make sure you’re absolutely anywhere else. Pry open a manhole and spend the day pretending to be a plumber in the sewers if you have to: it will be more fun and have more in common with video gaming. We’re always excited to see new independent filmmaking, but this looks more painful than sitting on a joystick.
Filmmaker Blake Freeman (Gawd Bless America) writes, directs, and stars in this movie about competitive gaming, and based on these trailers, he's no Ben Affleck. These clips do the exact opposite of what they're meant to do: instead of making me want to see Noobz, they've proven invaluable at helping me compile a list of five reasons why this Dodgeball should be avoided:
1. Jason Mewes
Mewes is best known as Jay from Clerks, Jay from Mallrats, and Jay from everything else Kevin Smith could wedge him into. He’s made a career playing the archetypical stoner you knew in college, and unfortunately he’s still playing that same guy two decades later. Even though his character's name is "Andy" in this picture and not Jay, he hasn’t learned anything new, and his brainless shtick, which used to be so funny, is now desperately depressing. Fully five percent of the trailer consists of him shouting “Bro!” in the most annoying possible way.
If you can make it to 0:35 without wanting to punch him, Captain Kirk wants you back on the bridge so Captain Adama can shoot you, you Vulcan robot.