Jimmy Kimmel was left without a musical guest Tuesday after militant vegan Morrissey pulled out of a Jimmy Kimmel Live! appearance in protest of that evening's other guest: the stars of A&E's Duck Dynasty, whose duck-hunting products led the singer to liken them to "animal serial killers." But Kimmel, pro that he is, wasn't one to overlook a prime comedy opportunity.
The talk show host first said that Denver band Churchill was brought in at the last minute, then explained why Morrissey canceled the appearance.
"While I respect his stance on this, I really do, there's a very good reason why I didn't dump the Duck Dynasty guys for Morrissey," Kimmel said. "And that's because they have guns."
Then the comedian poked fun at the singer's famously morose image, saying, "He keeps finding new ways to depress us."
Kimmel then introduced a taped sketch in which the Duck Dynasty boys demonstrated a new line of vegan-friendly products.
Morrissey was not amused by what he saw on Kimmel's show. The singer released this strongly worded statement on Wednesday:
"I was disappointed with last night’s Jimmy Kimmel Show wherein our smiling host managed to ridicule depression (70% of Americans have experienced depression according to the National Institute of Mental Health). He then found time to ridicule healthy eating (the obesity epidemic in the U.S. costs $147 billion per year in medical expenditure), and he also ridiculed the notion that animals should be entitled to the possession of their own lives. Furthermore, he found time to jokingly promote gun-ownership -- hugely amusing for the parents at Sandy Hook, no doubt. He also promoted his special guests [from] Duck Dynasty – who kill beings for fun. None of the above issues are, of course, as important as Jimmy Kimmel himself, who has finally revealed his show to have an overwhelming loss of meaning. Tune in and relive the intellectual fog of the 1950s."
While it's not entirely clear if Morrissey's sold-out March 1 show at Staples Center will be entirely meat-free -- as a press release from the singer has pledged -- the venue has promised at the very least an expanded menu featuring multiple vegan options and said no McDonald's counters will be operating that night.
He'll follow that date with an intimate show at Hollywood High School on March 2.