Jack Reacher vs. Jason Bourne: Who Would Win in a Fight?
Two action movies starring butt-kickin’, off-the-grid-goin’, middle-age-ignorin’ fellas will be coming out in the near future. Matt Damon returns as Jason Bourne in Jason Bourne in July. Then there’s Tom Cruise returning as Jack Reacher in Jack Reacher: Never Go Back in October. Trailers for both films have been released, and they made us wonder — who would win in a fight?
Category One: Hand-to-Hand Combat
Let’s see: Bourne can knock you out with just one punch. Reacher is no slouch, but his affinity for having a long-winded conversation beforehand would hurt him against the decidedly not chatty Bourne.
Advantage: Bourne
Category Two: Weapon Skills
Bourne knows his way around a weapon, but this isn’t a category in which he really flourishes. Reacher, though, clearly has skills, and he needs to quiet up to concentrate, so that’s a plus.
Advantage: Reacher
Category Three: Driving
Seems like Bourne is ready to make more of a mess in Vegas than a frat bro midway through his third yard-long margarita. The next Reacher film seems to offer its own car chase, but it’s not in the same sweet ride he previously had.
Advantage: Bourne
Category Four: Parkour
Remember that sweet jump of Bourne’s where the camera follows him down? So does Reacher! And Bucky. And Arya Stark. We’ll give it to the guy for whom it’s old hat.
Advantage: Bourne
Category Five: Going Against the Man
In Jason Bourne, we see our titular hero having to keep Julia Stiles’s character safe from shadowy government types. In Jack Reacher, the titular hero has to keep Cobie Smulders safe from shadowy government types.
Advantage: Draw? I don’t know.
So, by our count, we given more points to Bourne than Reacher, meaning in fight between the two, the winner would be … Batman. What’s that? Didn’t even see him coming? That’s right. You never see Batman coming. That’s why he always wins.
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