Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. So each week, we round up the most hilarious 140-character quips from moms and dads to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more!
Most of parenting is unsuccessfully attempting to sit down.— Jennifer S. White (@yenniwhite) September 4, 2017
The problem with a household with a stay at home parent is that both parents think Saturday is their day off, and both parents are wrong.— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) September 2, 2017
Whenever I see a kid do something the first time they're asked, I just assume they've been hypnotized.— SpacedMom (@copymama) September 4, 2017
PTA room mom: We need some volunteers for the class par-— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) September 5, 2017
Me: PLATES AND NAPKINS!
My wife grabbed my butt last night, not to be sexy, but because she was checking a diaper in her dreams. We've been parents for too long.— La Guardia Cross (@LaGuardiaCross) September 4, 2017
As a parent, you slowly learn to stop asking questions like, "Why is there a plastic spoon behind the bed?"— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) September 7, 2017
At the end of a long, difficult day of parenting it's so nice to know you can look forward to a long, difficult night of parenting.— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) September 7, 2017
Moms know how to persevere. We'll reheat 1 cup of coffee over & over again because we WILL drink our coffee hot if it's the last thing we do— Toni Hammer (@realtonihammer) September 7, 2017
Me: I'm going to be more involved this school year.— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 7, 2017
Also me: Hell no! I'm not chaperoning a 45 minute canoe trip of 4th graders!
"Did you just pee on the floor?" is just one of many fun questions I've asked my three year old today.— MumMumMommy ]]>🤦🏻