Eddie Redmayne and Mila Kunis Gamely Endure the 'Jupiter Ascending' Premiere
Jupiter Ascending is a real movie. No, seriously! It may look like an allergy-medication commercial from the year 3090, but it’s an honest-to-goodness real movie, backed by a real studio (Warner Bros.), directed by real filmmakers (the Wachowskis), and featuring real actors, including The Theory of Everything star (and Oscar frontrunner) Eddie Redmayne. The 33-year-old Redmayne — who plays a space-mayor, or something — likely wasn’t too eager to interrupt his awards-season stumping to remind people that he’ll be appearing in this weekend’s weakly reviewed, oft-delayed sci-fi adventure. Yet Monday night, he showed up at the film’s premiere in Hollywood. How did the actor survive unscathed? Our timeline follows:
5:01 pm PST: Redmayne, who’d been shopping at a nearby Ralph’s, is abducted in the parking lot, whisked away in a van to the TCL Chinese Theatre, and shoved through a door and into an open field of apathetic moviegoers and contractually obliged co-stars (thankfully, he was wearing a suit). “Oh, my! Well, isn’t this a lager in a lorry,” mutters Redmayne, who is English. ”Errrmmm."
5:02 pm PST: Redmayne’s co-star, Mila Kunis, exits the same door, looking dazed but determined. The two greet each other with smiles. “We’re in trouble,” Kunis whispers in his ear. “They’re not messing around. They spiked Channing’s creatine shake just to get him on the plane here, like he was Mr. T.”
5:03pm PST: "Can’t we get out through the kitchen exits?" "Sealed off." "What about the loo? That’s English for bath— " "I know what it is. But there are three security guards in each stall. One of them tasered Sean Bean mid-sneeze! But look, there is a way to get through this alive: Just give a smile big enough to convince everybody that you absolutely, positively want to be promoting this movie, rather than doing an Oscar phoner with AARP magazine.”
5:04pm PST: "Right. How’s this?"
5:05pm PST: "Close, but add a little hip-swivel, like this. It’s what got me through the Max Payne Australian junket.”
5:05pm PST: "Got it! Now, with any luck, all the Academy voters will forget about Jupiter Ascending, and concentrate on that other movie I’m hawking. Get it? Hawking? Right? Errrmmm…”
Photos: Getty Images
